High Speed Chess: Quins lose narrowly at Leeds

By Barbara (Owns Jason O Utan)
April 6 2003

“HIGH SPEED CHESS” was how Mark Evans described Friday night’s game against Leeds Tykes at Headingley. A good analogy, as however many times we got to ‘check’ in the second half, once our ‘Castle’ Dan Luger had been mysteriously binned, Diego Albanese and Braam van Straaten made it checkmate.

Anyway, let’s start at the beginning; I think some forty-odd Quins fans begged, borrowed or possibly stole time off work to make the great trek ‘oop north’ for a fixture moved to the Friday night 8pm slot as (apparently) this ensures a big crowd. (Remember this for later.) The sensible people decided to ‘let the train take the strain’. Those of us who drove regretted it.

As I arrived at the Headingley Lodge at 7.45 pm (panic panic) I only had fifteen minutes to:

1) Check in – Headingley Lodge is great – only six months old, with fabulous views over the cricket ground. The rooms are named after cricket players and I was told Michael Vaughan popped in the other day to find out how ‘his room’ was doing. I will definitely be booking a room for a Yorkshire home game this summer. Bagsy Darren Gough’s – just in case he wants to rest his weary body somewhere!

2) Trewser up.

3) Buy a program. At £2, this was good value. Not thick, but it had everything you needed to know. The front cover showed two Tykes taking down Ace Tiatia. How much thought goes into the choice for these pictures? This was definitely a message that the Tykes were up for it.

Phil Davies wrote a good welcome, commenting very favourably on the victorious Six Nations Quins’ 3, with a particular mention of Sir Jase’s ever-increasing rugby records and well-deserved accolades. He also paid tribute to Nick Duncombe.

4) Race to pick up my press pass. Thank you, Kev T, I shall frame it.

5) And find my seat.

My immediate impression was that our fans were not happy bunnies. A collection was well underway for a guide dog for the ref, Chris White, and suggestions of Saga cruises were being made to the two touch judges.

I was scribbling away when I realised there were cheering Leeds fans and the score was 3-0. This was followed by a penalty scored by Quins and a quick chorus of “We love you Burkey” ensued. Leeds were straight back at us, and the scoreboard soon showed 6-3 . . . 15 minutes gone.

At this stage I started to have my doubts as to whether my birthday wish of seven converted tries was feasible. It looked more like a kicking game to me.

A few minutes of light banter distracted me again as Prof shouted “Put some trousers on, water boy!” He was wearing VERY short shorts and it wasn’t Keith Wood.

Twenty minutes gone when Chris Hall scored a very good try . . . 11-3.

Ugo, Tani, Jon etc. were warming up on our side when a shout went up that Ugo should stop lapping the others. Is he also our next Linford Christie?

26 minutes gone and the ref’s in trouble again! Comparisons being made with Lander . . . oh dear! A decision in favour of Quins redeemed him (briefly) and suddenly, “I take it all back, Whitey – you’re marvellous” and “Solomon-like judgment, Ref” were the new cries. Another penalty to Leeds was missed by van Straaten and the Quins breathed sighs of relief.

Just before half-time, a Leeds gentleman approached us, and with a cry of “Oi, wig on!” asked Prof to accompany him for some interval entertainment. As I had not had time to acquaint myself with the AG facilities before the match, I felt it my duty to check these out at half time, and so missed seeing Prof win a ball-catching competition and collecting several free beer tokens. The Guinness was excellent, they had 4-pint carriers, the staff and locals were friendly, and most importantly, I didn’t spill any!

Paul kicked another penalty . . .13-6.

Dan scored a try. (Referred to by Mark Evans as a “bit of individual magic”). Paul converted and the score was 13 all.

Two more penalties from Paul (who ME said “kicked beautifully all game, as he always does”) and the score was 13-19, with about 25 minutes to go.

Scarborough went down injured and was helped off to a round of sympathetic applause. Another penalty scored by Leeds . . . 16-19.

Ceri Jones and Ace Tiatia were replaced by Jon Dawson and Tani Fuga.

Another moment of merriment, when the Quins fans advised Sir Jase how to retie his boot laces, and I offered to go and help him. Footwear was restored, and the game continued. A drop goal from Paul . . . 16-22. The tireless encouragement from the Quins supporters drowned out any locally produced noise. (I am biased, and I was sat in the middle of them, so probably wouldn’t have heard anything else anyway.)

Mark Regan was replaced by Rob Rawlinson and Nathan missed his attempt at a drop-goal.

We were then advised that the crowd numbered (remember this match was changed to a Friday so there would be more supporters) . . . 4305!!!

This slight niggle was soon forgotten as with 80 minutes on the clock, Tykes were all over us as Quins desperately scrambled to stop them from scoring and Dan Luger is sin-binned.

“Why?” you ask.

“Why?” we asked.

“Why?” the press men in the press conference asked each other.

Mark Evans said he thought Dan was deemed off-side? When and where, no one seemed sure . . . except, no doubt, for Mr C. White, and he wasn’t telling.

With their opposition down to 14 men, Leeds Tykes smelt victory, and attacked again and again until Diego Albanese secured another five points. 21-22!!! Only the strong could bear to watch, two ladies kindly covered Jason the Orangutan’s eyes and we all prayed.

You could have heard half a pin drop. Van Straaten may be leaving for Sale next season, but he’s still kicking for Leeds. It was inevitable, final score, 23-22.

Off to find the press conference . . . first in the room . . . didn’t want to dilute the Guinness, so steered clear of the coffee.

Thank you for asking me to do this, kwin – it was a great birthday present, one for the memories file. All the journos asking each other about Dan, was great stuff.

In come Scotty and Mark Evans. I could listen to ME forever, he is so laid-back! After all the hype, passion and intensity of the match, he is like a long cool drink. They should bottle him for anxiety sufferers. I’ve never heard him say “there’s no point crying over spilt milk” but that does seem to be his very sensible attitude. He never wastes energy, and is always constructive.

He thought the team had played “technically good rugby with few mistakes”. “It was like a war zone in the tackle area.” He was not pleased with the seventeen penalties given away. Our average is nine.

Asked about Luger’s binning, he replied, “What I think is not particularly meaningful. He gave it. I’ll be interested to see the video though.”

Returned to the sports bar to join the others. Within half an hour, Quins are the only ones there. Déjà vu? We took the hint when they started to vacuum and mop up around us. Actually, I don’t think we did – they asked us to leave. The problem with 8pm kick-offs is the lack of post-match drinking time! We stumbled back to the Lodge, where suitable refreshments (including Maltesers) awaited us. We celebrated our one point in style. Mark Evans wants another point for safety and a few more for a place in the play-offs.

We’re all looking forward to ‘welcoming’ the Tiggers on Easter Saturday, seventy days since our last home game.

I hope I can remember where I sit.