Round-up of the Week's Rugby News

By Newshound
July 10 2005

This was the week that was. A review of last week's reports on the Lions with a decidely Sale Shark prejudice. Praise for Mark Cueto and Charlie Hodgson and a few choked words from Sir Clive Woodward.

"The trouble with these Lions is that they don't sleep together" at least that was the diagnosis of Dr JPR Willams in Monday's Telegraph. If only it was that simple.
News of Jonny Wilkinson's injury was prominent in Monday's papers. In his column in The Times Nothing stings quite as badly as having to watch a defeat Jonny said "To have me playing anything less that 100 per cent is pointless with Stephen Jones on the bench". We've got news for Jonny - he hasn't played at 100 per cent since the World Cup Final. Indeed it would appear the only person in the northern hemisphere who thought otherwise was Sir Clive "I only pick on form" Woodward who has obviously been watching Jonny through English Rose tinted spectacles of late.
Daniel Carter was declared the "new Jonny Wilkinson" indeed Grant Fox went so far as to claim "he had "no doubt" Carter was going to be the greatest outside-half ever to wear the silver fern". High praise indeed for a lad who had played two games at home against arguably the poorest ever Lions side.
As is so often the way some saw the current All Blacks as the the next World Champions choosing to ignore a history in which the All Blacks have been declared the next winners in every World Cup right up to where they lose in the final rounds.
Sale fans were able to "look on the bright side of life" however, as Jonny's injury turned media attention to Charlie Hodgson. Robert Kitson in the Guardian descibed Charlie as the most fluent fly-half on view and Chris Hewett in the Independent believed it would be "an affront to natural justice" were Charlie not selected for the test team.
Mark Cueto came in for some well deserved praise on Wednesday with Robert Kitson declaring that Campese couldn't have done it better. Indeed so well did Mark play that even Sir Clive "we know you never pick on form so why do you keep trying to kid us" Woodward was forced for once to pick on form. Mick Cleary, not usually one of Charlie's fans went so far as to say "Charlie Hodgson, as he has done all trip, was shrewd and sharp, drifting through gaps early on before taking a wallop on the nose that affected his breathing and forced him off midway through the first half. Hodgson has grown in stature and self-belief."
Chris Hewett earns a special mention for the first of my "pun of the week" award. Commenting on the shocking game by All Black hooker Simisi Telefoni he asked the question "A Telefoni with no receiver?"
Sir Clive "I may have been forced to pick on form this time but it doesn't mean I have to like it" Woodward was a tad restrained in his praise of Mark Cueto in Friday's Telegraph "Mark's done it for England. It'll be interesting now to see if he can step up for the Lions. There's a big difference, especially against New Zealand. He's had a good trip and looks for work now out on the field." Indeed even Mozzer, long suffering Stockport County fan and most welcome visitor was moved to cry "Jeee-suuusss. Talk about back-handed compliments. I'm glad I'm not a proper Sale fan or this would probably rile me even more than him being left out again!".
There was anguish amongst the Scots that none had been selected for the final test. However, Steve Thompson caught the virus that afflicted many of his team mates during the week creating a bench spot for Gordon Bulloch. Obviously Steve didn't throw the virus - if he had nobody would have caught it.
After the first test the cry went out from some fans "too many English" at the end of the second it was "too many Welsh". In order to remain true to form the cry at Heywood Road when the final whistle blew was "too many Scots".
And so to the recriminations that make up Sunday's papers. A rather biased selection of quotes is available in the Sunday Paper Round. Please feel free to add your comments and join in the discussion.

Quote of the week: Most acerbic press box comment - delivered as the Lions were trotting out for the second Test: "Here they come - dead men jogging."