Carnegie Crush Cov
PorthosTyke's MotM
By Tony Jenkins & Dave Ansley
February 9 2009
A cold day at Headingley saw 703 hardy souls turn out to witness the latest episode in the Tykes' assault on the EDF Energy National Trophy. In opposition were Coventry, a side beaten comfortably in the league fixture earlier in the season, so an equally comfortable victory was expected.
There's not much by way of pre-match entertainment at Headingley these days, so AramisTyke and I arrived five minutes before kick off. We were disappointed to have missed the rapturous applause and wild frenzied cheering that had presumably greeted the arrival of the Carnegie Challenger just a few minutes before. DartagnanTyke was already in our usual position and, looking around at the sparse crowd we reflected that this was just like the old days. The pitch was in extremely good condition bearing in mind the weather and the Rhinos game two days before; a credit to the ground-staff. Unusually for the weekend, both teams had chosen to start with specialist scrum halves. Leeds lined up with Goodridge at full back, Blackett and Welding on the wings, Henry Paul and the twinkling feet of Hepworth in the centres. Di Bernardo and Mathie were are half back. The pack consisted on McGee, Nilsen, Bucknall, Myall, Lund, Boyde, Rowan and Oakley.
For reasons that were unclear Cov lined up with a player wearing 25 at full back. The bloke in question looked more than a little like an undersized version of Andy Goode; he was going to have a much worse afternoon that his larger brother had managed the day before. Anyway, Leeds started the game attacking the still icy scoreboard end, with Mr Goode Jnr defending the posts at the Carnegie stand end. Leeds kicked off.
Cov started off with a back move that resulted in the first of several passes to a winger who was not there. At the resulting line out, Plug threw to the back, and the ball was moved quickly to the far side. Sparky made a fine break, and spun out a rather lateral pass to Heps, whose feet duly twinkled over the line. The clock said 58 seconds. The Doctor added the kick, and Leeds were on the way to Twickers at 7-0.
There was now some small excitement as the scoreboard struggled to cope with the fast pace of the scoring, and the electronics spent the next few minutes unhappily flashing on and off.
Leeds were soon on the attack again. After a series of rucks, Tommy suddenly found himself completely clear, about 25 yards from the Cov line. He lumbered forward, but the distance was a few yards too far. He passed to Plug, who was hauled down just short. The shivering fans did not have long to wait for the next score, though. A ruck formed on the Cov 22 on the Leeds left, and eventually with the entire Cov pack lying on the wrong side and making no effort to move, the referee had to concede that there was perhaps an infringement. HP took the penalty quickly, darted through, and gave Sparky an easy run to the line. The Doc once again added the extras, and at 14-0 on six minutes, the game was effectively over.
Cov now managed to exert some pressure on the Leeds line. As it turned out this was to be their only real concerted attack during the game. A series of penalties were kicked to the corner, but the Leeds defence held firm. Cov lost their best attacking chance when they repeated their "pass to the winger who is not there" play, and Leeds managed to clear the ball to half way. Country was on the receiving end of some impressive knee work from the Cov 6 during this time, and needed some treatment, but no serious damage seemed to have been done. It seemed as if it would be wise to follow the Cov 6's future career with some interest.
The occupants of the South Stand now turned to other entertainment for a while. It emerged that Big Mac was on water (or possibly hot soup) carrying duty, and he was given some encouragement. The assistant referee / linesman/ touch judge also joined in the fun. Cov's touch-line team included a man in tights, and we wondered if he was the Coventry Challenger. Still, with 20 minutes gone, the scoreboard was still showing "ED CARNE 14 COVENTRY 0". This was not to last too long.
Leeds gained a penalty on 24 minutes, and kicked the ball to touch upfield. Sadly, Plug had clearly been watching the Italian line out and hurled the ball over the top. Cov managed a few phases, but turned the ball over and a series of good drives from the Leeds pack took the ball ominously towards the Cov line. After more phases, Pudding took the ball from Heps and an outrageous dummy saw the next Wales No 8 score near the posts. The Doc kicked the extras as usual, and it was 21-0. Our new friend the Cov 6 was in on the act again, squaring up to Heps, but the twinkling feet kept the Leeds man out of reach.
There was now great excitement as it emerged that the referee had been injured in awarding the try. Mr Roberts sprinted off, only to return a few minutes later with much less hair and carrying an extra stone or so. There was great concern in the South Stand as to what had happened to the whistle-blower's wig.
It quickly became apparent that the lack of his wig had reawakened the referee's interest in the offside rule, and Leeds fell foul of this new enthusiasm several times in the next few minutes. This gave Cov their second chance to threaten the Leeds line; they continued to turn down three points and kick to the corner, but Leeds were still in no mood to let them score.
All Cov's efforts came to nothing, and Leeds cleared their lines with five minutes remaining in the half. Now, somewhat curiously given the weather, there was a break for drinks. Play restarted with a scrum, Cov gaining possession. At the next breakdown, it was pleasing to see the Cov 6 getting some of his own medicine from one of the Leeds pack (inexcusably, I neglected to note the Leeds player's number).
Leeds were now dominant in the scrum, with Buckers in particular having his man. Unusually, the referee was happy to let the pack scrummage, and Cov's scrum half was soon reduced to shovelling the ball from the back of a rapidly retreating scrum. One such effort left Cov's Mr Goode in an unenviable position, and he was unceremoniously smacked by Sparky. Jaffa got the ball and chipped over but the Cov cover got back just in time. A scrappy series of plays saw Leeds go close, eventually dropping the ball on the line.
Just before the half, the referee's enthusiasm for offside appeared once again, and he penalised Cov on their own 22. The Doctor kicked to the corner, and Pudding took the ball from the line out. More good work from the dancing feet took the ball closer to the Cov line on the Leeds right, and quick ball saw the ball moved left. The entire Cov backline was well offside, but a sublime reverse pass (worth a tenner on its own) from HP to Country thwarted them, and Country's pass put Sparky in the corner. The Doc rounded off a perfect half for him, securing the Bonus Point if there'd been one, and it was 28-0 at half time.
There were several changes at half time. First, the scoreboard started working again. Second, Leeds brought on Hopcroft for McGee. Third, a chap who looked very like the original referee (but with a plaster above his eye) started to be a touch judge / linesman / assistant referee.
The opening exchanges of the second half were scrappy from both sides, which was probably not surprising given that the match was effectively over as a contest. Leeds took the chance to show Cov that they too could essay the "pass to the winger who is not there" play.
After just five minutes, Leeds introduced Maisie and Beds for Plug and the Shark. Soon after, more good work from Pudding put Blacks in the clear. As he tried to recycle, the play was stopped by the most blatant deliberate offside seen at Headingley in many years. Step forward, our old mate the Cov 6, who was sent to the bin to consider his actions and possibly for his own safety.
There was the some confusion about the restart as Country seemed to have forgotten that he was skipper, and he had to be found to make a decision. He wisely went for the scrum.
A couple of phases later, Maisie got the ball and ran, head down, at the Cov defensive line. You had to feel for Cov at this point. You are 28-0 down, you are a long way from home, it is freezing cold, and sixteen stone or so of dirty great Tongan is running right at you. They managed to stop him, the ball was recycled, and moved left through many hands until Heps gave a sweetly timed pass to a fast-moving orange streak that turned out on closer inspection to be Jaffa. The orange one was in at the corner, the Doc made the kick, the scoreboard said 35-0, and the watch said 50 minutes gone.
JD now entered the fray, to a good cheer. Annie left the field, and presumably went off to check out the television to see how that Powell bloke was playing in the international.
There were worrying times shortly after, with a Leeds player down for some time. The referee allowed play to continue, even though the Leeds physios tending to the fallen player were clearly concerned. The player turned out to be Buckers; when he finally got to his feet it was clear that he was wondering where he was, why he was there, and why it was so chuffing cold. He left the field to be replaced by the returning Tommy, who was now to play tighthead.
On the hour, Barrow and Murphy came on for the Doctor and Country. HP moved to stand off, with Barrow slotting in at 12. This provoked the Leeds contender for try of the season; another score that was worth the tenner on its own. I remember it like this. Cov kicked through. Jaffa gathered and ran right. He slipped the ball to Blacks, who set off left. An inside pass to Sparky set him off up the field at high speed; so neat was this pass, that the Cov winger still tackled Blacks when the ball was already 20 yards away. Cov managed to get to Sparky, but the ball came back and was moved through many hands. Many, many hands. In an unlikely centre pairing, Hoppers fed Maisie, and the ball went out to Boyde, who barged through the remaining Cov defence to score. The ball had moved 80 yards in less than 90 seconds. HP added the kick, and 42-0 said the scoreboard. Let each of the 703 say "I was there".
A light snow now started.
Soon after, an aimless Cov pass was gathered by HP near half way. A fine run ended with a chip towards an unfortunate Cov winger. The winger gathered the ball, but promptly got a face full of Blackett and was bundled into touch. Hints now came on, with the twinkling feet of Heps heading for the stand.
The ball from the line out was moved to the other side, and after a ruck, Tommy walked over the line to score. HP managed to hit the post, so it was 47-0 with 68 minutes gone.
No-one, player or spectator, would have complained much had some creative time-keeping brought the game to a close now, but there was still time for another score. On 74, yet another good run from Blacks was backed with some fine support from Sparky and HP, and Hints eventually went over. HP repeated his post-hitting trick, so it was 52-0.
Cov kept going to the end, and the final few minutes saw some big hits going in as Leeds tried to keep their line intact. Cov introduced their final substitute, a chap built along the lines of a functional outbuilding, but even he could find no way through. Round about now, DartagnanTyke calculated that there was one steward visible for every 22 supporters (and that was not counting the dozen or so stewards in the tunnel), so we were presumably pretty safe. Eventually, the referee showed some mercy (presumably wanting to retrieve his wig), and blew up bang on the 80 minutes.
52-0, and into the next round of the cup. We had assumed that there would be a charge to enter the bar after the game (for some reason there wasn't), so we left.
It's hard to pick a stand-out player from the game. Jaffa made some fine breaks, and has an impressive turn of speed these days. Blacks made some more fine breaks, and smacked anything that ran at him. The twinkling feet of Heps twinkled. Up front, Robo (Rowan) ran around like a loon and smacked anything in a white shirt that was unfortunate enough to get in his way; his mate Boydey was usually lumbering along close behind, ready to smack anything unfortunate enough to get past Robo. Pudding made some breaks and did everything expected. Big Mac carried water to an international standard.
The official award went to Sparky; PT's award goes to Tommy for propping on both sides of the scrum, nearly scoring a try, scoring another, and having the beating of three different Cov props.
This was, in the circumstances, a good performance. There was some fine back play, and plenty of good support work. Given that the game was over as a contest inside half an hour, I'd hope that Backy is a reasonably happy man. The important thing now, of course, is to repeat the dose at Cov next week.
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I don't know how you remember all that. Agree with your MOM.
Waiting for the good times ...
..and waiting ....
... and waiting ...
