Ex-Rated Entertainment

Nice Indian Summer day, how better to spend it than seeing the Tigers score loads against the plucky new boys? If that’s how I started thinking, I got seriously reality-checked out of it early. Probably the Indian Summer was an omen. I don’t know what kind of Chiefs these were – probably Apaches; certainly they ambushed us good and proper.

And it all looked like it was going to be so simple after the first 10, with Tigers, after an early indiscretion in front of the posts gifting Exeter 3 points, looking to attack and making good headway before one defensive infringement too many resulted in a  yellow for Hanks and the ball was well worked across to the right for Smurph to score with ease near enough the posts for the conversion to be a formality.  Then Allen seemed to slice the Exeter defence open with a single step before a tap tackle stopped him on his way possibly to the line, and he knocked on and picked up a knock.  The knock on gave the Tigers scrum an outing and they recovered possession and another try could have been had but for a loose pass which should have found Tuilagi.  The knock was more of a problem, and Allen was off shortly afterwards  to be replaced by the Messiah Twelvetrees.  Whose first touch, a “lob and hope” offload, was more from the Very Naughty Boy bag of tricks.   And this is where it began to turn Ex-rated from a Tigers point of view. 

Take the lineout, for example.  Take it to the training ground and work on it.  Dear sweet Jaysus, it was awful.   Time after time, Tigers won good field position only to waste it with poor ball off the top, or no ball at all because Exeter snaffled it.  Penalties out of kickable range were becoming almost useless.  And then there were the wild passes into the Crumbie, and the frustrating knock-ons when something looked on.  Worse than all of that, though, was the way those untutored Devonians clearly didn’t realise that they were supposed to be overawed by the mighty Tigers at their glittering lair.  They weren’t supposed to do things like win the ball and then stop Tigers getting it for an eternity.  Nor were they supposed to look lively and dangerous pressing forward, with a scrum-half getting right up in the Leicester faces, more Little Plum than Chiefy in the tribal order but very effective  nevertheless. Not even losing a prop slowed them down when the replacement was a proper old-school fatboy who could definitely pass for Chiefy given a Sioux headdress and spent the rest of the match barrelling into the Tigers line and taking some stopping.   And they certainly weren’t supposed to come back first with a simple penalty, then with a well-worked score to go in front, Tigers’ tackling ineffective and in one crucial instance absent, using the extra man to put Dollman through.  Sinister name, that.  The Dollman sounds like the title of a low-budget horror movie.  Which is what the match was becoming for Tigers.  A six-point gap became thirteen when Exeter delivered the same again, simple competent lines and handling against limp Tigers tackling ending in Dollman through, a centre being chased by a flailing lock,   and that was Ex, Ex, Hell.           

Staunton had the opportunity to redeem some of his earlier ropy kicking with a penalty in kickable range for once just before half-time, and Tigers went in for what must have been one of the sweariest half-time Cockers rants in history 10 points down.  The only glimmer of hope was the scrum, where Tigers were well on top, and some indications that if they could only get the ball and hang on to it, they were able to use it well going forwards.

A fair few substitutions for the second half saw Ayerza and Castro on, and crucially (in my view) Croft making his return and offering a reasonably safe lineout option, and there seemed more urgency about the Tigers play.  The lineout started to steady a bit and move from cack to creaky, a rare Steenson miss gave Tigers a crucial let-off, and Ayerza broke the line and went on a rampaging run (one of these days he’ll run it in from 40 yards, stepping the full-back on the way, and earn the freedom of Leicester) before losing it forward in the tackle, but the Exeter scrum got completely owned on their own put-in, and the resulting penalty was a formality to put Tigers within seven.  Another Staunton penalty made it four behind  with 25 minutes to go, and this Tigers fan at least feeling a bit more confident.  Until Exeter showed just how little they know about the natural order of things by striking back, again simple stuff well executed, with winger Thomas put in position by that man Dollman again before dummying Tuilagi and taking the angle for the corner to keep out of Murphy’s reach, and Steenson potting the touchline conversion.     So that was Triple Ex, and hideous visions of their going one better for headlines like “Chiefs Couldn’t Give a Four-Ex For Less Than A Bonus Point Win Over Toothless Tigers”. 

Maybe that was made Tigers start looking like Tigers.  There was passion, ferocity and some desire in their play, and it produced a cracking try from a turnover on the Tigers 22, a break by Youngs to halfway, Twelvetrees looking more Messiah-like by putting Hamilton into space on the right wing, and Hamilton using that deceptive power of his to get just to the line.  Staunton slotted the touchline conversion neat as you like, and it was back to four behind, only now with less time but with Tigers’ tails up.  A third Leicester try followed with 10 minutes to go, and it was beezer as well, starting with the line break  by   Croft before the ball reached Waldrom, who gave a lovely little pat-pass to Hipkiss, and Dan Dan the Try-Scoring Man ran it in, pumping his free arm the way he does, near enough to the posts for the conversion to be simple stuff and suddenly, while there was still the nagging feeling that Exeter could pull it off, the dynamics had changed.  Five minutes to go and Tigers looking keen to finish it off, absolutely ferocious engagement in from the Exeter’s posts to win a penalty that was reversed for some silly piece of afters that I couldn’t quite see, before the Exeter push failed, and Tigers were back rampaging in the Exeter 22, and another penalty won with three to go, and the most crowd-pleasing decision of the day, to go for the scrum.  And from there it was the merciless Tigers of old,  slowly squeezing the life out of the Exeter scrum until the ref had seen enough and went for the posts to raise his arm.  Staunton popped over the conversion, and that was five points for Tigers, and a harsh zero for Exeter.  Phew. 

 Positives apart from the eventual outcome?  For me, I was impressed by Waldrom – a Really Useful Unit in prospect there, I think.  Tigers’ scrum has still got it going on even if the lineout is Brad, and Skivington looked pretty tidy in the loose (where was his support when he broke upfield from a maul in the first half – aaaaarrrggghhh – but when he realised he had to kick forward or risk turnover or penalty, he did a fair job of it for a donkey-rower, and he was to be seen crashing the line a fair few times otherwise.  Crofty is back – yay!  And I’d say something for the new-look attacking Staunton.  He was a bit Dr Jezza and Mr Hyde, but apart from the wild pass and the overcooked kicks, which looked to me like trying too hard to get that bit extra, he did some good stuff – the outrageous tap-and-go out of Tigers’ 22 in the first half made me doubt my eyes – and he was flawless off the tee. 

A word for the ref – he was spot on for me.  And a few words for Exeter.  Some great fans who were in good voice in our bit of the CAT, and who can be pretty proud of their team, who deserved at least the losing bonus point.  I think a lot will depend on whether Steenson  stays uninjured and whether the team as a whole can keep up the intensity that they showed, but if they can, I can see them shocking some more opponents and being a tough prospect at Sandy Park.  I’d love them to stay up, and I think they might just do it.