Tigers v Harlequins Match Preview

Homeward Bound                                                                                  I’d decided to impress my new girlfriend by taking her out for a day in the country and treating her to a proper lunch (as compared to that supplied by the local Wimpy, Golden Egg and the like). We set off, with my little transistor radio playing as it swung merrily from my car’s rear view mirror. 

It was one of those late autumn days when the sunlight picks its way through the etiolated trees, the sweet-sour smell of decay of the season of multicoloured decrepitude a harbinger of the imminent arrival of winter. 

It was just magical as we chatted away in the way that new loves do.  

Back then pubs rarely served more than a curled sandwich or a pork pie to augment the staple of potato crisps and Sundays themselves were a culinary no-go area. 

Suddenly I spotted a sign that said; “Bedford Lodge Hotel – Restaurant open to non-residents” so I swung onto the hotel’s drive and into the sparsely populated car park. I should perhaps add that in spite of my man-of-the-world bravado this was the first time I’d “flown solo” as it were for hitherto I’d been with my parents when visiting such establishments but I was on a mission to impress.

The venerable waiter approached and asked for our order and, terrifyingly, my companion asked me to make her choice.  I chose soup followed by Rainbow Trout.  The soup arrived accompanied on its serving trolley by a bottle of Dry Fino sherry.  The waiter asked if we would like sherry, which I thought a nice, if somewhat tardy, gesture and signalled our acceptance at which point he poured a measure of the fortified wine into our soups.  We were bursting with giggles but maintained our composure. 

The trout followed but neither of us had the slightest idea of how to eat fish on the bone, our combined experience of piscatorial dining limited to fillets encased in batter from the local chippy. Lunch took a long time to negotiate, not helped by the subdued hilarity of our plight. 

Her parents were strict on return times so I had left ample margin to ensure our timely arrival back at her home, so much so that we had time to stop at a location well known to putative lotharios that afforded spectacular views over the coastal plain where the lights of the towns and villages below were already glittering. 

Too soon it was time to go. I engaged reverse gear only to hear the whirring of tyres without traction.  Even before I investigated I knew I was stuck fast.  Mobile telephones were still twenty years in the future so we set off down the lane in search of habitation only to be stopped in our tracks by somebody shouting “stuck then??” 

The voice belonged to a lad of similar age to me who’s Land Rover pick-up truck was parked in a gateway where he and his companion had probably been engaged in the same delights as had we.  In no time he had pulled my mud spattered car onto the lane and we were on our way. It was just the sort of random kindness that was inevitable on such a day. 

 As we drove off Simon & Garfunkel’s Homeward Bound started emanating from the radio and we wryly smiled at the irony. 

Her parents were waiting steely of eye with arms crossed and mouths set.  I was summarily dismissed and on reaching her front door my new love bade me an abbreviated farewell.  Suddenly the whole day crumbled before my eyes, the joy wrenched from me.  

As I turned to leave she caught my arm and smiled the gentle smile that I was to see so many times during our time together and said “I’ve had the most wonderful day of my life – thank you”.  By the time I reached my car I was again walking on air. 

I’d wager that last Sunday evening, when Tigers were homeward bound from High Wycombe, there wasn’t much of a spring in their step. 

Now those who masochistically read my weekly pieces, although they dislike them, will be wondering why the preamble is so long this week. 

Answer? I’ve been trying to think what to say about the current state of rugby without sounding like a broken record. 

As I watched Saints dismantle Saracens, who didn’t really need the copious assistance of Mr Wigglesworth, I thought back to “Moaning Jim” Mallinder’s comment at Kingsholm a few weeks back to the effect that referees are too much guided by home crowds in their decision making. Of course how Mallinder didn’t get hauled over the RFU’s disciplinary coals for this about the finest of our sport is a mystery. Absence of emails from “concerned supporters” maybe? 

Wayne Barnes performance at The Recreation Ground on Friday evening had already suggested Mallinder’s view had some credence and then on Sunday Andrew Small confirmed it to be pretty much undeniable as he seemed to have deputised the home crowd, tiny as it was, as assistant referees to guide him. 

The Tigers’ scrum, initially with traction, was soon negated by Wasps discovering they could drive across with impunity and at all three fixtures it seemed that home teams need not trouble themselves unduly to bother introducing the ball into the set piece in accordance with the laws. 

I’m afraid that our sport is becoming painful to watch and it is so in large part due to the abysmal and inconsistent standard of officiating. 

Ever the optimist I hope we get better service from the officials next weekend although if the motif is to continue it would be welcome when scratch teams from Quins and Tigers will meet at Welford Road next Saturday. 

Both clubs have extensive injury lists but Tigers also lose an enormous number of players to the scurrilous Autumn Internationals (or as the southern hemisphere nations prefer; End of Season Internationals) which makes the playing of club matches a fraud on the paying public whether they pay in person or via their media subscriptions or indeed both. 

With Tigers pretty much down to default selections and Quins not much better it’ll be a lottery. 

Quins did enough against a poor Sale side to collect a home win while at their graveyard venue Tigers scratched around for some points against Wasps and failed in an incredibly dull match.  

With Argentina not having a fixture next weekend and there being no agreement for early player release I hope that Tigers will be able to field the same front row of Marcos Ayerza, Neil Briggs and Mulipola all of whom went well at Adams Park other than when the Andrew Small fickle finger of fate fell upon them. But I’d have liked to have seen Cockerill, back on duty, use his bench and give Balmain and Stankovitch a run out.  Perhaps with Small’s antics he could see little point in exposing his reserves. 

Briggs looked for work and buzzed around making up for shortcomings elsewhere showing his back row credentials. 

Quins for their part have Marler on international duty with England while Buchanan, Gray and Doran- Jones are all injured, although Doran-Jones may soon be making his debut for his new club.  

At the moment though it seems that only twenty-two year old Will Collier, who’s become the south London side‘s first choice tight-head following the departure of James Johnston for the bright lights of Barnet, if Doran-Jones is not ready. 

In truth if Ayerza and Mulipola are available, as I think should be the case, then I can see it being a long afternoon for the Quins’ front row trio, especially as, with the LV= interregnum approaching followed by the return of Tigers’ England contingent,  the reserves will not be required for a few weeks. 

For Quins at lock, with Kohn forced into premature retirement and Kennedy, Walker and Twomey all injured but close to returning to the fray, the inexperienced Merrick is the only other specialist lock left standing. 

Nick Easter (who by any sensible measure should be with England) has lately been dragooned into the #4 shirt to partner the indefatigable George Robson who’s as solid as the rock on which that other monument to Black Country grit, Dudley Castle, stands. 

Here again, in spite of Parling being with England and even if Kitchener hasn’t recovered from the knock which sidelined him last weekend, I think that the combination of Ed Slater and Louis Deacon should be able to match the Quins’ duo and maybe, if Steve Mafi is restored to the blind-side as is rumoured, then the hosts should have an advantage at the line out. 

Quins are hard pressed in the back row with Fa'asavalu injured and the thoroughly decent Robshaw being ill served by brand Lancaster and Easter, as mentioned, pressed into service elsewhere. 

Tom Guest was stretchered off on Saturday but is reported to be OK so may be available come next weekend. I rather hope so as he’s a particular favourite of mine as he takes the ball up at pace. 

Quins also have the excellent Luke Wallace, another personal favourite of mine (but get your hair cut lad!!!) to play at open-side and I think he’ll have a real good tussle with Julian Salvi who’ll be mounting a final hurrah before the LV= Cup hoves into view like the Marie Celeste of rugby and gives the East Midlands’ favourite Aussie a break. Salvi was in fine fettle against Wasps and I think he’ll enjoy locking horns with young Wallace. 

As mentioned Steve Mafi is expected back on duty for Tigers and if so it’ll be a welcome return for the big Tongan who looks likely to be opposing young Joe Trayfoot who has been getting game time with London Scottish.  I thought he looked pretty useful against Sale but against Mafi  I think it could be too big an ask. 

If Mafi isn’t fit and Kitchener doesn’t return to permit Slater to drop to blind-side then I’d be inclined to give Matera a start as Gibson didn’t impress. 

Waldrom got his reward for a bravura performance against Treviso but his work at the base of the Tigers’ often  illegally disrupted scrum at Adams Park let him down and I expect to see Jordan Crane restored to the #8 shirt for Tigers while, if Tom Guest hasn’t recovered from what initially looked a nasty knock, Quins will have to dig deep and probably start academy #8 twenty year old Jack Clifford, who just a few weeks ago was playing for Ealing Trailfinders against Rotherham and on the wrong side of a 77 point to 9 stuffing. 

With Wallace potentially the Old Father Time of Quins back row it could be an inexperienced looking pack that Conor O’Shea will be obliged to field.  Happily for Quins in Robson and Easter they have seasoned and wily campaigners to hold it all together and even if Guest is fit it’s hard for me to see anything but a distinct advantage to the home side when it comes to the forwards, especially with a baying Welford Road crowd behind them. 

Quite a different story at half back though.  Once again Tigers are denied their first choice half backs who are with England whereas it seems that Danny Care is surplus to Lancaster’s requirements for some reason.  I have some misgivings about the often selfish Care but what is for certain he’s the kind of maverick who can turn games in an instant so I’d have him in the squad.  But then I’m not Lancaster (there’s a blessing!!) 

It seems therefore that Care will be playing at Welford Road and unlikely that Dickson will again be the beneficiary of his brother’s elevation if it’s so confirmed from Twickenham. 

Mele wasn’t as effective in the way he went about his work at Adams Park as he can be and he must try not to let his frustration with the match officials or with his rookie half back partner Owen Williams, who made his starting debut against Wasps, be so obvious. 

There’s not much choice for Richard Cockerill other than reverting to the “Steady Eddie” that is Sam Harrison which looks a backward step especially given Mele’s kicking ability in extremis and with Lamb having slid down the pecking order following his misbehaviour at Kingsholm the fly-half cupboard is bare at Oval Park. 

Quins on the other hand have Nick Evans fit although he hasn’t seemed at his best thus far this term and with Botica delegated kicking duties I wonder if the Quins’ Kiwi stalwart is fully fit. 

If it’s advantage Tigers up front then it’s advantage Quins at half back – they have to have the ball of course. 

Both clubs are grievous hit in the centres.  Quins are missing Turner-Hall, Lowe and Casson, the latter near being ready to return, while Tigers are denied; Allen, Tuilagi, Goneva, Tait and Smith. Although O’Shea swooped for the released Tim Molenaar from Gloucester so maybe he’ll be included. 

The Tigers’ midfield stuttered against Wasps as Williams was stolid while faced with some sloppy service from Mele who only showed some all too brief flashes of the play we saw earlier in the season. 

With little inspirational play coming from Tigers’ half backs on what was admittedly a difficult day the experience of Andy Goode told. If the latest Tigers’ centre pairing of Dan Bowden and Hepetema are to get any traction, and they look bright enough when they are on the ball with Hepetema cutting some good lines although Bowden is not one to crash the ball up, Tigers’ half backs will need to be a lot sharper and crative if the latest Tigers’ centre partnership are to prosper. 

Quins will probably start with Botica at inside centre and stick with Matt Hopper in the #13 shirt.  

Still just twenty-three the son of Frano Botica; Ben, brings a very reliable boot to proceedings but has little top class experience other than at fly-half and sometimes it shows when he’s elsewhere engaged. 

 Hopper though is well versed in the centre role, with sixteen Premiership starts last term providing three tries, he’s very speedy and also cuts some good support lines although for me he sometimes over does it and goes just that yard or two too far when he should release his own support players. 

In Quins’ back three there’s plenty of experience available to O’Shea with one of the best collectors the high ball around; Ugo Monye who can be partnered with Paul Sackey, back from his pension top ups at Toulon and Stade Francais. 

Tigers didn’t deploy the fit again Miles Benjamin at Adams Park and stuck with USA Eagle Blaine Scully and Adam Thompstone who didn’t see much ball as the inclement conditions and constipation in the Tigers midfield forced a limited game plan to be pursued but they defended well and limited the hosts to just a solitary Christian Wade (another who should be with England) try when Thompstone unusually went off piste leaving a space out wide that even Ben Kay could have scored through. 

At full back Niall Morris was steady against Wasps but I can’t figure out why he persisted in kicking the ball into the fierce headwind rather than run the ball back, ideally without dropping it! 

With Mike Brown away with England (and who knows maybe even playing in position next Saturday!) and Lindsay-Hague and Chisholm injured Tom Williams has been given the #15 shirt.  

Williams is excellent under the high ball, is very swift and, although not a specialist full back, will give a good account of himself defensively with the ability to run the ball back at pace.  Given the security of the Quins’ back three along with Evans if faced with an aerial bombardment Tigers would be well advised to keep the ball on the ground or in hand. 

It’s all a bit of a lottery these days with so many mix and match combinations of players and referees in charge of picking those numbered balls at the scrum and breakdown. 

Given a modicum of competence from the match officials I think Tigers’ forwards may get enough ball for their backs to win the day and return a spring to their step before they have their break from Premiership action and send the visitors sadly homeward bound.