To Sustain Stain's Pain?

By acoi
December 4 2005

The Anglo – Welsh Cup! There’s a phrase to fire traditional rivalries! ‘’ As long as we beat the English, we don’t care!’’ they sing; ‘’I went Wales once,’’ we mumble, ‘’It rained!’’

Well, it rained in Gwent, and just as well for it hid the weeping over a performance which was an insult to those who had braved dual-language road signs, and left no-one ‘gay’ in the village.

Whether our dynamic performance against Wuss the following weekend was an apology to the fans, or a declaration of intent, remains to be seen, but it gives this afternoon’s encounter against our amusing, tight-rope loving, local rivals the appeal of unrivalled possibilities, if only amongst the mathematicians in our number. Should we win there is a serious risk we might progress, though results elsewhere could still save us.

As the third episode of the trilogy, ‘’A Competition Too Far’’, many would condemn the whole to international weekends, and most - unequivocally altogether! However, in closet desperation to see us progress in this inspired competition I’ve put my chair under the loft ladder; sewn the neighbour’s cat, ‘’noir de minuit’’ [pretentious scrotes], to the carpet between me and the telly with dark blue thread [there wasn’t any black, there never is, is there?]; donned my ‘’lucky’’ white away kit; changed the clock to half seven, the calendar to 13, shut the curtains, and we’ve got fish for tea!

Pat’s team selections show a desire for game time together for the ‘probable’ squad, given the forthcoming European games, this his only opportunity twixt welcoming Abertawe and all the disruptions caused by saving careers at H.Q..
Sam Vesty has earned his place at full back, condemning Geordan Murphy to the wing in place of England, try-scoring debutant Tom Varndell, who’s just won the Dubai sevens all on his own, also for England. Daryl Gibson’s spot at twelve is in the safe, if developing, hands of Matt Cornwell, and with Oz managing his energy levels, Harry Ellis wears the scrum half’s shirt. Brett Deacon is rewarded for his sterling stint at the back of the scrum with the six berth, tucked in behind his brother Louis at four, another richly deserving, England debutant.

The news of Dazza’s withdrawal at three is disappointing, but with Alejandro Moreno moving across to tighthead and Michael Holford heeding the call at one, it still looks good. Under 21 Scot, Dave Young, in at 17 could yet make his first team debut at prop, highlighting the injuries we are suffering in the grunt row, but I am confident he will step up to the mark if called.
The admirable and inspirational return to form of Ben Kay, at five, and Seru Rabeni’s silky magic easing it’s way back via the bench, makes Stains top spot in the group look, worryingly, none too secure.

It is said their late, enforced change at five where Gerrard takes over from Matt Lord will weaken their lineout but add weight to their scrummaging.
It’s actually an encounter to savour, and wearing the shirt should be motivation enough. A good game, victory by nearly enough tries and no injuries ahead of real business will do nicely – dream on!
Chris White asks Stains to kick off.

For the first half hour Tigers strive and drive, but where we are not architects of our own downfall, lady luck has a slap. The scrum is outweighed, and it shows. Goodey kicks from hand far too often, but all the penalties bar two, even the easy ones, are kicked to touch – a declaration tries are all that matters.

We’re struggling, playing as strangers, showing how important this game is to gel the team back together.

Goodey makes a poor pass, which could easily have been intercepted, and the scrum and stage are set for Stains no. 9, Mark Robinson, to chase his own kick through, navigate through a crowd of his own attacking players to ground the ball for a try in the corner, with only one Tiger to be seen [Geordan, of course]. Five minutes gone, and it’s 0 – 5, as Reihana misses the conversion.

It is Stains who are throwing the ball about, and in the eighth minute another kick over the top is superbly caught by the retreating Geordan Murphy under pressure, who calls the mark and crosses his own try line to save them scoring – as well he has for the mark call is denied by the TJ.

Eleven minutes now and Tigers have a penalty on the halfway line which Goodey elects to kick at the uprights. Every subsequent penalty will go for touch, at least, until first half injury time. This one drifts just wide. Unlucky, though.

Chris White pulls a black shirt over the yellow one he’s been wearing …. Stains have turned out in yellow.

A Goodey crossfield kick just eludes Matt Cornwell’s grasping hands for a certain twelfth minute try in the corner, which is typical of the balance of fortune, but though Stains are worth their lead there is a feint scent of promise.

Two minutes later and Captain Corry is stopped just short of their line, yet this from a dramatically retreating Tigers’ maul.

Seventeen minutes and the linesman wishes to draw the referee’s attention to some handbags, which he describes as a Moreno punch on Cohen; in the event Cohen is holding down Alejandro by his shirt, and our man admirably restrains himself several times whilst trying to free himself, but eventually realises he’ll get no help from the officials so slaps Ben a couple of girlie ones. It works, but at the cost of a penalty, which Reihana skilfully slots between the posts. An unjust 0 – 8.

My heart’s in my mouth, marinading in a very quaffable ale, it’s 19 minutes now as Geordan’s clearing kick is charged down by Steve Thompson, but this time it’s Leon Lloyd who saves the points, grounding under our posts. Despite this, it’s these two wingers who are the main outfield drive and threat in our ranks.

Continuity is still elusive, we’re still not gelling and making too many errors, but there are signs. We’ve spurned numerous ‘easy’ penalty points in pursuit of the ‘all important’ tries, and Stains, though trying to play, are by no means perfect, receiving warnings from Chris White about killing the ball.

On 27, our lineout leads to a ruck, Harry feeds Goodey, and he [***** - well] taps through their defensive line to the posts as the on rushing Geordan is poleaxed attempting to chase the kick. 16,800 can see it, yet one ref’ and two TJ’s cannot – I find physics an intriguing subject! No penalty. No yellow card for Rhodri Davies. In truth Murph’ had no chance of catching a ball kicked too hard, and Stains collect it under the posts and clear.

In the twenty ninth minute, Goodey misses touch with a penalty [for the first time] and Stains hoof it upfield, we win our lineout, but knock on, and in the ensuing scrum Michael Holford is pinged for driving in. Another skilful touchline penalty kick from Bruce gives Stains an eleven point lead after 32. Am I worried?

Actually, no, I can still see us doing this, and from the kick off more evidence it’s coming as Geordan chips on only to be beaten at the try line by a yellow shirt, and it’s not the ref’s.

Chris White gives Barnard and Holford a lecture on binding.
With five minutes to go to my next dive for the fridge, Tigers get yet another penalty which Andy Gum Drops into touch on their 22. The lineout is won and the ball played wide to Geordan, who combines with Leon on the far wing, and yer man sidesteps the defence to score in the corner. A delightful touchline conversion from Goodey and it’s 7 –11, and we’re on the up!
The last kick of the half is a penalty to us from the halfway line, but Andy has to have a go. It’s still 7 –11.

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As the less traditional amongst our 11,072 crowd are still barging their way back to their seats, refreshment in hand and blocking everyone’s view, Tigers are showing their teeth. They’ve come out with intent, have gelled, and are showing skill and strength in abundance. The kick off is to Cohen who hoofs for touch, the lineout leads to excellent play taking the ball to their try line, and, after sweet movement, a chip over to the corner for the onrushing Murph just eludes his grasp; but advantage is being played, and the penalty goes to touch. The familiar lineout, catch and drive, and I’m counting one, two, three, four rucks and drives and it’s over with BenK credited. Mardy Stains get their handbags out, and Chris White has a word with both captains before Goodey slots the conversion. Ye gods! We have the lead and look the business. 45 minutes, 14 – 11.

Seru has come on for Sam Vesty, so Geordan will go to full back.
This is going to be a doddle! Oops! We’ve lost the ball from their kick off, they’ve played it wide, and kicked it crossfield for John Rudd to score a sweet try in the corner. I can only guess our lads had their view blocked by someone returning to their seat late, because none of them seemed to see Rudd. Brucey misses the conversion, so it’s 14 –16 as Steve Thompson, who I think they’ll miss since his lineout throwing has so dramatically improved, is replaced by Dylan Hartley, 16. Seems it’s precautionary for a calf injury. 47 mins.

It’s the 53rd. minute and Goodey has just missed a conversion attempt from the touchline. The try that earned him the kick showed just how the much-vaunted Carlos Spencer is struggling under the kind of pressure Tigers are exerting, as Martin Corry charged down his attempted clearance, with Shane Jennings winning the chase to their line and grounding. The position stemmed from consistently good lineout play. 19 – 16.

Shane Jennings is replaced by Luke Abraham, while Stain’s Sam Harding gives way to Darren Fox.

They’re screaming Geordan’s just been obstructed off the ball again, but he actually ran into their player.

With the game three quarters done, a kick across to Seru just eludes his grasp, as does the scoring opportunity.

Louis Deacon makes way for Jamie Hamilton. Soon afterwards a lineout on their 10 metre line sees the ball played wide to Ollie Smith who breaks to their try line, but their defenders stop him offloading the ball to Seru on his shoulder, and bring him to earth. From the ensuing ruck, repeated drives see Tigers hammering their try line defence, Luke Abraham eventually driving Leon Lloyd over for his second try.

As Chris White tells Ben Cohen to shut his whinging gob, albeit in referee-speak, it is dawning on me …. this is the fourth try with it’s bonus point, so unless we can now contrive to lose, we’re going to qualify. To add to my fears, Goodey makes no mistake with the conversion, it’s 26 – 16 and I can see no way back.

Substitutions see Stains swap Mark Robinson for Johnny Howard at scrum half, whilst at five Grant Sealy comes on for Darren Gerrard. Soon, Harry leaves for Neil Cole at scrum half, Cabbage takes over hooking from George Chuter, and, on 68 minutes, Dave Young makes his Tigers debut in the grunt row, giving Alejandro Moreno a well earned break, as all try to hide their grins at Bruce Reihana’s awry penalty kick. From the resultant 22 Goodey hoofs upfield, which they play out to halfway, but then give away a penalty.
Andy slots the long range kick, it’s 29 – 16, and there’s ten minutes left.
While the run up to the final whistle was not devoid of effort – indeed, Stains scrummed down from a couple of penalties and were camped right under our posts in the final minutes – our defence could not be broken. The high point for me, though, on 76, was water-carrier Wiggy’s face as he instructed the forwards for the final push. A diamond!

Well, it was an enjoyable victory, an excellent portent for next weekend if the second half is the yardstick, and we appear to have avoided injuries. As they say, ‘’Two out of three aint bad!’’

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