"T" socks it to ya!

By "T"
December 3 2002

Guest columnist "T" opens his thesaracens.com account with an interesting theory which may explain the club's recent run of not very good form. Sock it to 'em, "T"!

It’s all gone belly up at Saracens Towers.

With possibly the strongest pool of players we’ve had for several seasons........... a great mix of youth and experience – a flyhalf and part time place kicker who can control the game from 10, four talented centres to fit into two spaces, and a quite frankly terrifying front 5.

Yet we still manage to be able to throw games away at will.

World class players are making basic mistakes, losses in form from key players no names - cough *Kyran*cough - . So what has gone wrong? Why are we throwing games away?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I have an answer.

the socks. Perhaps unnoticed due to the excitement of all the summer signings, "One Nut Wayne" in charge and the thought of finally seeing some World Class Rugby at Watford, someone somewhere has decided to get rid of the traditional red socks and replace them with black.

Whether it is a marketing decision based on maximising sales of socks, after all it's a lot easier to support our "home town heroes" by wearing the club tie and black socks under our suits during the week than a pair of garish red ones.

Or perhaps whether the Men In Black intro song didn’t really work and Will Smith was unable to re-record the song with "Nod your Fez, Men in Black with the red socks coming".

It might even be a player decision, wanting a more 80’s feel of black stockings to go with their fingerless gloves in a kind of Madonna-esq fashion. Although I imagine the thought of Johnny Masters in fishnets was enough to convince the players that perhaps it was a little bit of overkill.

Now, whatever the reason for the change, this kind of thing is asking for trouble. Sport is the one thing that can turn sane human beings to gibbering wrecks because their lucky pants are in the wash, or they can't complete their pre-match ritual as they need to.

Several times I have had "that" look from my girlfriend as I have stopped the dishwasher mid cycle to retrieve my lucky Saracens mug (a 1986 original) and in doing so spilling water over the floor.

As I drink my coffee from the lucky mug I chuckle to myself at her short-sightedness, because by doing this I've just ensured that Andy Goode will kick that tricky penalty from the "wrong" side out on the touchline.

Three cups later, not only am I suffering from mild caffeine poisoning, but also have single-handedly won the game for my beloved side.

I know that the team will come out en mass and applaud me at the end of the game in recognition of my efforts which, if I have to admit, embarrasses me slightly.

"Where's he going with this?" I hear you ask? Well, don't you see? Everything we do has a bearing on the team.

From the Fez boys in the bar drinking in the same position every week. To the cat woman behind me screeching at such a pitch that dogs in Dunstable have been known to howl.

To you parking in the same place every game and me drinking my coffee from my lucky mug. If any of these were to stop happening, not only would the world stop turning but also the team would suffer.

Now we all know that our pre-match rituals have an effect on the side. So are we really expected to believe that if something intrinsically linked with the team, - lets say the socks for example - were to be changed, that it wouldn’t have a knock-on effect on their pre match ritual?

I think we all know the answer. I could back up my argument with statistics, but I can’t really be arsed.

However, if you go into the old clubhouse at Bramley Road you can clearly see the old pictures of the teams all wearing red socks (except in the black and white ones which they are kind of grey – but go with me on this.

So after 125+ years of existence, the majority of which we have worn red socks, we swap to black. We're just asking for trouble from the sporting gods.

A final word of warning on messing with the sock gods:

When Rudd Gullit joined Newcastle United FC as manager he changed the colour of their socks from black to white.

For those of you who don't know football, Gullit’s tenure at Newcastle United lasted less than 9 months, as the team's form slumped.

As soon as the new manager came on board the socks were changed back to traditional black and Newcastle qualified for Europe…

So there you have it. Conclusive proof that you should never mess with the socks.

The campaign for Red Socks begins here.