Well I've Never Felt More Like Singin' The Blues

By Rabble Rouser
September 30 2005

Floozies, Boozers, Fezboys and Loozers! It's been a while since I last (dis)graced these here pages so the 'ead 'itters have bribed me with a quarter of wine gums to put together a preview for Saturday's game and, at the same time, try to generate some interest in the Powerless (ahem) Powergen Cup.

Before I try to do the sales job for the competition, first let's do a bit of history to set the scene.

Following Sarries is, as you all know, a bit of a roller coaster ride and back in 2000, the point at which many think the team crested the first and highest rise on the ride was the double-header against Cardiff in that season's Heineken Cup.

Having disposed of Toulouse in La Ville Rose - still the last side to do so in the HC - Sarries then blitzed Ulster at home before going into a showdown at the Vicarage against Lynn Howells and his band of vagabonds who stole an unlikely 32-23 win in front of a shell-shocked Upper Rahs.

Playing for the Men in Black (back then still with a hint of red) that fateful day were the likes of Bert Spragg, Run DMC, Wally Wallace, FlatMan and recently-appointed unofficial worst signing of the pro-era at the Vicarage, Lord Lucan.

Up against them were a Kairdiff side featuring the legendary Sarries misfit now back in the Welsh Capital and close to Peter Thomas, the Blues benefactor who made his crust from pies - Craig Quinnell.

The Voice of Reason - aka McNab - recalls a moment in the game that will live with him until he pops off this mortal coil. Craig, after Cardiff had taken the lead, baited the Fez Zone with clenched fist and inaudible expletive that scared the scariest of Sarries stalwarts. Fat Quinnell! If McN thought it's terrifying, then what hope for the teddy carriers? Mummy!

On the following Friday the Fearless Fez filed down the freeway (Enough aliteration already! It's a Motorway, mun - Ed) to the Arms Park convinced that the previous performance was a mere blip and that revenge would be won over the Welsh invaders.

A crowd whipped into a jingoistic frenzy by the local meedja who reckoned the game was some sort of retribution activity to avenge the death of Owain Glyndwr created a hostile atmosphere for both the Fez and the team (which made one change with Julian White coming in for Wally). The pressure told and the newly-honoured Neil Jenkins MBE booted Sarries into an impossible situation from which to qualify for the quarter finals with the Blue and Blacks taking the game 24-14, with all 24 points coming from the Ginger Monster himself.

So what of the 2005 vintage Sarries against the 2005, black-free Blues?

Well, Sarries have not started as well as they, the fans or the pundits would have liked. Just one win from four in the league and a defence that's more leaky than Mrs Beeton's sugar caster has left Sarries in lower mid-table in the "superior" Guinness Premiership.

As for the Blues, they've improved in the "inferior" Celtic League after a shaky start with back-to-back wins over The Artists Formally Known As Llanelli and, last weekend, away in Glasgow.

Their squad is short of a few players - Shanks (remember him?), Marc Ribena, Gethin The Lion to name but three - and coach Only The Good (Dai Young) has been pressed into some remedial measures, including two players of whom even uber-Taff Large has never heard: centre Lee Thomas and hooker Dwayne Goodfield. The bench looks handy, though, with new signing Jennifer Rush in line to make a debut at some point and new wing sensation Chris Checkout is going to be one to watch from the off.

Sarries have made a few changes after the Sharks game and in come in the Looney Brothers - Simon and Moses - Cec Seymour, Tank Harris, Cairnsy, while TC moves to fullback (why?) and Scabs onto the wing vacated by the crocked Del Boy. Finally, there is a Brucie Bonus for Cap'n Huge. Skirvs is on the bench so Vyvs gets a start in his proper position.

And now for the sales patter:

Roll up! Roll up! Come and watch the new, Anglo-Welsh Powergen Cup!

Alright; don't, then.

Let's be frank here. I can count a quantity of English-based folks about the same as the thumbs on a pair of Glawster hands that is passionate about this competition.

Of course, some old rivalries will be rekindled, especially those between the Taffs and the Wurzels, but even though the Beeb have the television rights, the enthusiasm this side of the Bridge is lukewarm at best, in spite of what has been said by the Western Mail and its ilk.

So I'll end this preview with a question. Do you, honestly, care whether Sarries win lose or draw? No, me neither.