Matt Shines As England Stuff Wales

By The ERE Eight
February 4 2006

Matt Stevens moved out of his international novice status as he trousered the MOTM award for his marvellous performance in England's 47-13 victory over Wales at Twickenham. The young Bath prop was involved in every aspect of this game with a level of fitness that belies his shape.

England played this as a game of two halves, with the Welsh side keeping pace throughout the first half but being wholly dominated in the second. It must have been a bit disappointing for the visitors when and aging and out of form Lawrence Dallaglio easily pushed through their defence to score his try. 

With the game delayed a few seconds whilst Paul Honniss completed last minute adjustments to his earpiece, so he that he could hear Dilly from the bench, England got underway with the first crack at the Grand Slammers crown from 2005. Honniss needn’t have worried, Dilly's decibel level was up to full volume after ten minutes, replacing Joe Worsley who left for a blood injury. The first ten minutes was characterised by Wales trying to take it wide and getting nowhere. Banjo hit three out of  four early on, keeping our Lee biking for England in the technical area.

Going into the second ten minutes, after a scrappy Welsh lineout, England had one which was collected well by Lawrence (The Mouth) Dillydallyo at the front, and the England pack put on a great push, with Matty Stevens in the thick of it with a good rolling maul. Stevens then showed his prowess in the loose with a dart up the side, to set up another England backline move, which broke down when Josh (where was I today) Lewsey tried to give an appalling offload. The following ruck resulted in England getting a penalty and kicking to touch. The lineout was won well, and meant quick ball for the backs, which Hodgson used excellently. His miss-pass to Noon (not Tindall as the stupid BBC commentators claimed it was) was perfectly timed, and Noon did very well to offload out of the tackle to a steaming Mark Cueto who showed too much pace for the Welsh backs and easily handed-off little Shane Williams. Hodgson slotted the conversion over no probs. First try to England - good start, but the annoying try song (Tom Hark) comes on at Twickenham to ruin the moment. However, the try did get the crowd going, and the cheers got louder and louder.

The Welsh restart however showed their intentions not to let England get on top with a great chase from the winger, Jones. A poor clearance from England
led to a lineout for Wales which set up an interesting moment, when Lee Byrne caught a good Garryowen with two English players seemingly ignoring the ball! From this point, the Welsh backline tried to inject the flair that helped win them the Grand Slam last year, but Ben Cohen, in some marvellous defensive work, held Luscombe up in the tackle and resulted in an English lineout. His team-mate at Nohopeton, Steve (Banjo) Thompson, then went and screwed the lineout up severely with a dummy throw, to result in a Welsh scrum for the free kick. Another silly English display resulted when Harry Ellis decided to ignore the referee and wander onside at the back of the scrum, resulting in a penalty, which Jones happily kicked over to leave the scores at 7-3 at the 20 minute mark.

The 21st minute started with England pressurising Wales in their twenty-two, a clearance kick giving England a linout on the halfway line. The cheering from the CB2 household could be heard across the land as Tom Voyce replaced Josh Lewsey, who left the field clutching his left shoulder. A good midfield move saw the referee missing a blatant crossing involving Voyce, but poor England handling turned the ball over to Wales. Not for the first time the Taffs kicked possession straight back to England who returned the favour by kicking the ball back again. More poor handling by Cueto gifted the Men of Harlech an attacking scrum. Throughout the game the Boys from the Valleys matched England in the scrum but seemed unable to do much with the ball they won. 

Wales put on the pressure and after winning a scrum they attacked through midfield. A speculative kick behind the rush defence was picked up by the rosy cheeked Voyce and cleared by Tindall. However The Leeks won good lineout ball and attacked again through the centres. A brilliant little grubber kick in to the England goal area was only saved by a last ditch poke into touch by Ben Cohen, which was deemed accidental by the ref despite protestations from the visitors (and their commentators).

England restarted with a twenty-two drop out, the High Foreheaded Miners were penalised at the ensuing maul and Charlie Hodgeson poked the penalty straight through the middle, to the cheers of the adoring Twickenham crowd, "Charlie, Charlie" you can almost hear them chant. England lead 10-3 but it's been hard work too date. The Trogs kicked off and a magnificent catch by Borthers set the ball up for Ellis who made a dashing break through the Welsh defence. The ball spun out from forward to backs to Voyce who ran down the line. The Sheep Worriers (again) infringed at the maul and were given a warning by the referee. England kicked the penalty to the corner for a lineout five metres from the Welsh line. The Welsh infringed again and during the advantage Hodgson kicked cross-field for Ben Cohen. Unfortunately Cohen is wearing Banjo's catching mitts cannot gather but fortunately the play is pulled back in England's favour. As a result England opted for another linout, again this was caught well and the pack drove across the line. TRY. Moody came up with the ball but was ably abetted by Matt Stevens, who looked like he was trying to shove Moody's backside through the top of his head. Hodgson missed the conversion and my stint ended at England 15 - Land of the Burning Cottage 3.

Thank you Alibev. What a bizarre sight to see our very own Lee Mears applauding from the saddle of an exercise bike. He could have been watching it down his local gym. Charlie pushed the conversion just outside the righthand upright.

From the restart, taken by Worsley, Hodgson sliced his kick to touch to give Wales a line-out on the twenty-two. Wales took the line-out but turned over the ball after some scrappy play. However they got another bite at the cherry, when England were penalised for coming in from the side at the tackle. Penalty Wales, kicked to touch, and back to a carbon-copy line out on the twenty-two.

Second time round England fell for one of Wales' training ground moves. Peel cut a beautiful line through the England forwards, who still had their minds on the line-out, and set up Martyn Williams on his shoulder, who in turn showed good strength to go through Tom Voyce and Charlie and then over the line. Steven Jones converted. England 15 Wales 10. Wales were right back in it and closer than the run of play suggested.

England restarted and after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing the ball was put into touch. England had the throw-in, lost the line-out but were saved when last pass along the line to Mark Jones went forward. Pressure off England. Adam Jones was then penalised for boring in at the scrum. England kicked to touch for a line out 35 metres from the Welsh try line.

The line out was taken cleanly by the England forwards and rumbled up before spinning the ball wide. Voyce cut in on the angle and was taken down with a high tackle that was missed by Paul Honiss. Instead Worsley was penalised for coming in from the side. Wales from the resulting line out put up a box kick towards Cohen who took it well, and had played well thoughout the first half. The ball went out to Tindall who put boot to ball and put an end to the first half.

England were on top but the scoreline did not reflect their supremacy thus far in the contest. Matty Stevens was for me the pick of the Bath boys in the first half. 

England 15 Wales 10.

The thought on the minds of anyone supporting the red rose was, had Paul Honiss forgotten to put his yellow card in his pocket? Early in the second half a period of English pressure led to a great break by Noon and a pass to Danny Grewcock on the wing just a few yards short of the line. Danny didn't take the pass as a Welsh hand pulled him back. The referee called it, but no penalty try, no yellow card. From the lineout which followed again a Welsh player cynically infringed a few metres out. Again, just a warning. How many warnings was Honiss prepared to give in this match? Too many it appeared to the English eyes. Hodgson may have slotted home the penalty, but England's short dominant period ended, with the sides swapping turnovers for the next few minutes without really threatening to score.

As the final quarter rolled in... lots of abuse was being directed towards the England backline and Mike Tindall in particular. I think their hair just wasn't up to Welsh standards. Anyway, the game was progressing nicely, a  bit too close for comfort but Tindall crashed over in the corner for any easy score that took the game away from the Welsh. Applause greeted Dallaglio's arrival - along with abuse for being a has-been from the Welsh behind us. He neatly shut them up by, err, crashing over again to nicely bookend an eventful ten minutes.

My time begins, the Welsh advance, a tide of flowing red

They suddenly look dangerous and Tindalls left for dead

A penalty conceded, Steven Jones between the posts

Can the red Welsh army shock their stalwart English hosts?

 

A soaring kick and Moody jumps, the ball is there to win

A barging Martyn Williams is sent straight to the bin

The penalty converted, Wales down to fourteen men

Gareth Thomas fumbles one a chance for England then!

 

But through my ten short minutes, neither side has won

Though Luscombe missed and Hodgson picked and Sherry rumbled on

To end, that well known sprinter Adam Jones came bursting through

A stunning interception …… until the whistle blew !!!

 

Finally, it's worth reflecting on the impact Bath Rugby had on this game with the following current or ex-employees all contributing: Andy Robinson, Mike Tindall, Matt Stevens, Steve Borthwick, Danny Grewcock, Lee Mears, Tom Voyce, Gareth Cooper.

 

England: Lewsey; Cueto, Noon, Tindall, Cohen; Hodgson, Ellis; Sheridan, Thompson, Stevens, Borthwick, Grewcock; Worsley, Moody, Corry (capt).
Replacements: Mears, White, Shaw, Dallaglio, Dawson, Goode, Voyce.

Wales: G Thomas (capt); M Jones, Luscombe, Watkins, S Williams; S Jones, Peel; D Jones, R Thomas, A Jones, Gough, Sidoli, Charvis, M Williams, Owen.
Replacements: M Davies, G Jenkins, A Jones, Popham, Cooper, N Robinson, Byrne.

Referee: Paul Honiss (New Zealand)

Well there you are, the first ERE joint effort at a match report. My thanks go to Tom, Andy, Stuart, Ali, Mike, Lawrence and David for playing along with this.