Why Is Mike Catt In Australia?

By Harley Quin
June 17 2006

Well that's another week in the wonderful world of sport. The England rugby team played poorly against the Aussies, the footballers got the result if not the performance they wanted. The cricketers missed out on the 20:20 against Sri Lanka. Ah, the order of things has been restored!

I'm writing this article before England prepare to be once again humbled by the Aussies and, reflecting on last week, I see Olly Barkley has come in for a bit of stick for his performance which ultimately cost him his starting position. My old friend, Glen The Ed, has said for several years that he prefers to see Barkley at inside centre rather than fly-half because his quickness of foot is more agile than his quickness of thought and I think he was spot on judging by last weeks performance. 

This week I would like to have seen Barkley moved to centre at the expense of Mike Catt. Great servant that he has been to England, what is the point of playing Catt? All this rubbish of him being an elder statesman to help the younger players is driving me nuts, he's taking up a place which would benefit a player who could be playing in next year's World Cup.

If one takes the inclusion of Catt philosophy a stage further and introduce it to other sports where we are struggling we could see the likes of Nigel Mansell being shoe-horned in to the cockpit of Jenson Button's car alongside the perennial loser from Frome. Geoff Boycott could stroll out to the middle of the pitch with Marcus Trescothick to whisper technical tips in his ear every time he fails to move his feet. Colin Montgomerie would do well to discard a club from his bag to allow Nick Faldo to squeeze in and explain what it takes to win five majors let alone one. I'm confident that had the ashes of dear old Fred Perry been placed on the baseline of Wimbledon during Tim Henman's matches he would have won the Championship by now!

It's rubbish, total rubbish and Andy Robinson knows this. He took Catt as a form of insurance but his inclusion was as much nonsense as Sven taking Theo Walcott to Germany. Surely everything Robbo and his cohorts are doing is building towards the World Cup, and if that means losing to Australia with a group of "nearly men", but at least "nearly men" who are in contention for World Cup places then so be it.

Of course I could have this all wrong and Robbo could be planning to have Catt as the first name on his team sheet come the time to announce the World Cup squad.