Done in by Chappellization
By Anuradha
March 25 2006
Chappellization is defined as random and fickle changes made on whim, accompanied by unsuccessful attempts to rationalize them in the guise of experimentation for the future.
Coach Greg Chappell's methods are reminiscent of a child who rips apart a working model of
a toy airplane: wheel first and wing by wing, then the engine. He can't put it back
together and throws it away... yuck! Bad toy... doesn't work!
Chappellization has manifested itself in a multitude of ways:
1) Psychobabble: Chair practise, De Bono tricks, catching lecture, color ball practise,
psychology, multi-media, yoga, and biomechanics. At the end of all that, the boys can't
hold simple sitters.
2) Confused Sehwag and Bhajji: Simple rural minds who understood
compassionate phrases like Ja ke Maar, Dho daal, Rok ke khel, Mar jana par haarna
nahin, or just the simple Shabaash have had fuzzy pseudo-intellectual junk talk
from the Chappell library imposed upon them: It's not about winning or losing but about
psychosomatic evolution into betterment and other such nonsense. This has left Bhajji and
Sehwag -- two major pillars of Indian cricket success -- confused wrecks.
3) Opener Position: Mutual back-scratching has traded off Gambhir for Jaffer, who with his
feet movement will always be either an LBW or caught-in-slips candidate early on against
good attacks. Throwing in the Pathans on whim has merely aggravated the harmful impact of
Chappellization.
4) Stomach disorders treated for headache: Lack of integrity is another aspect of
Chappellization. Problem link is Tendulkar, but drop the second best test match batter VVSL
and hurt yourself further.
5) Engulfed by self-created hype of 5 bowlers: Chest-thumping foolhardiness in the name of
bravado. I will be aggressive & play 5 bowlers. Like Saddam I will teach America a
lesson; never mind that in doing so I eradicate my own existence. Beggars shouldn't pretend
to be millionares. With one opener confused, and other a political football suspect to the
moving ball, the star (SRT) faded and the youth (Yuvraj) not used to playing out long
innings, common sense would suggest playing extra bats. In any case, only 3 out of 4
bowlers take the wickets and have won us series both at home and overseas for time
immemorial. But no, Chappellization means covering one blunder with another.
6) Analysis Paralysis: In wanting to look clever -- there has to be that extra smart
strategy in every game -- Chappellization leads to monumental blunders that even the Dhobis
of Ghatkopar wouldn't make. On a spinner's paradise, put the opposition in, rendering the
only match winner Kumble ineffective and the batsmen at the mercy of journeymen spinners on
the fifth day.
Common sense = Play to your strengths
Chappellization = Play to your blunders.