Sharks Repelled at Sixways

JAWS XV

You’ve seen the film: now read the story

It was the end of winter.  At the small resort of Sixways, friends and families were gathering at the start of the weekend, determined to enjoy themselves.  As they crowded along the edge of the sea of green, they did not want to listen to the worrying words of Deputy Keast.  All week he had been issuing a shark alert.

A pack of marauders had been spotted in the North, heading this way.  Early reports suggested that, though their Great Whites had left them for an Irish hunting ground, they were still dangerous.  After all, they included a Hammer-headed French and a wily old Scottish Blue as well as a young Norwegian White who, last week, had hunted in International waters.

To meet this threat, Chief Brain and Deputy Keast had assembled a multi-racial task-force: a pack of “seven hairy hombres and a man called Horse” and behind them, the Magnificent Seven. Led by Captain Marvel, the team included “demolition experts”, lofty crane men and sniping sharp-shooters. Several of the group had previous shark experience in South African and Australian waters.

On a previous Friday evening, last September, some of the men had received a serious mauling by a pack of Sharks, but that was in Northern climes.  Since then, Chief Brain and Deputy Keast had developed a survival plan.  This team would show their old adversaries respect, but no fear.  After all, last week they had exterminated a multi-coloured species down South.

As the hands of the clock moved around to 8pm and the full moon rose in the sky, the crescendo of chanting and cheering around the play area grew to fever pitch.  Drawn by the noise and movement, black and white forms emerged from the shadows into the full glare of Sixways.  The Press, TV pundits and Shark-watchers had come to witness the feeding-frenzy.  Chief Brain and Deputy Keast’s survival plan swung into action.

The Warriors harried and marshalled and out-manoeuvred the young Sharks without mercy: Greenpeace observer Spreadbury was on hand to ensure that the laws on Animal Rights were upheld; blood was drawn, but defence was magnificent.  Gradually, the Sharks were hunted down, harpooned by three attacks which found their target.  A wounded Shark is dangerous, however, and these kept biting back until, exhausted, they were finally driven from the scene.

As soon as the drama was over, praise poured in.  First on the phone to Alan Powell was the President of Penzance Pirates, offering his congratulations for a job well done.  Even Chief Brain, who “doesn’t do emotion”, looked pleased: so he should, with a team that is defying gravity!

Next on the bill:

How the West was won!

or

Will Bath Water improve our health ?

Be There!