Score with Harriers (P2)

Fanzine Humour
By TFH
August 4 2003

part two of Bomber Bos imaginary dating advice. Taken from TFH Fanzine.So get reading and getting pulling, just like your uncle Bo.

SCORE WITH THE HARRIERS

Part two : Dating Agencies

MORE MADE UP DATING ADVISE WITH THE MAN WHO NEVER FAILS TO SCORE IN THE BOX BOMBER BO HENRIKSEN

Hello pupils, and welcome back to my advise column. Of course, you are now thinking what’s a bloke like Bo doing with these lonely hearts, he’s normally beating them off with shitty stick. Of course, this is true but I feel I must warn others of the pitfalls of the dating game. So before you put that Rose on your lapel and head off to some far flung place like Hartlebury, let your Uncle Bo warn you.

1. Never meet them in your local, always chose a quiet un inhabited place, such as Bromsgrove.

2. never tell them your real name, invent an alias name, such as Trevor, or Renne Petterson.

3. never let on how much money you’ve got and be like Glasgow Rangers, “go dutch”.

4. do not expect your date to be what they say in their advert, for more info on this, see my guide which follows.

5. restrict your Dating agency activity to mid week only, save your real effort for the weekend.

So with this in place, you should be ok but before you book that table at the “Stoke Prior Working Mans Club see the opposite page for the definitive guide to the phrases used in such columns ( which Bo doesn’t need to use).

CRACK THE CODE.

KNOW WHAT THESE PHRASES REALLY MEAN

“WLTM” would like to meet

YOUNG AT HEART at least 50

CUDDLY as fat as Jan Molby on steroids

SINGLE MUM 6 kids, different fathers

LIKES NIGHTS IN see above

LIKES NIGHTS OUT money grabber

2 GIRLS SEEK 2 GUYS FOR FUN see above

BEEN HURT BEFORE on prozac

NEW TO AREA hasn’t been out in years

SEEKS CARING & GENUINE MAN ugly

PHOTO APRICIATED could be a looker

PAYMENT REQUIRED could be a hooker

FEMALE SEEKS MALE ANY AGE desperate

FEMALE SEEKS MALE ANY AREA very desperate

FEMALE SEEKS ANYONE avoid

FUN LOVING BLONDE watch out for the black box

GENUINE BLONDE hairdresser

STRAWBERRY BLONDE as ginger as Lee Hughes’s ballbag.

AUBERNE HAIR see above

MOUSY BLONDE HAIR albino

SLIGHTLY BUILT dwarf

TALL AND LEGGY taller than Abdou Sall with heels.