England can win the world cup, yeah right

By European Football
March 23 2005

Mr Burns, err sorry Sven Goran Eriksson is convinced that England can win the World cup in Germany next year, taking a moment off his punishing bonking sessions, the nuclear power plant, err sorry England manager was in a confident, if slightly confused mood.

"I think we have as good a chance as all the other big teams."

"I think it showed in Japan, we lost 2-1 to who won the World Cup and in Portugal I think we were a little unlucky to go out.”

"Even though we did only reach the quarter finals we were almost there.”

"I think by giving the team a four-week break before the World Cup, and with more mature players, we should have a chance.”

"But first of all we have to qualify for it."

Now every major competition in my living memory England were going to win, and yet they never do and there is a reason for this, after a load of painful and persistent research I can now unveil that reason. England just really are not very good.

I mean they have some class players, Rooney probably stands out in the latest in a long line of talent, but when it comes to the big games, England bottle it. It’s as simple as that.

I have little doubt that they will qualify, but they will not win it. It will be another glorious failure, probably something to do with a handball or perhaps penalties, but blow it they will.

So if you are thinking of betting on them, save your cash, otherwise there will be a bookie somewhere rubbing his hands and saying, excellent.