Longside Limericks

Here are the best ones:

I promise one day I’ll be sober,
It’s just all part of getting older,
But when I’m out on the town,
I’ll act like a clown,
And constantly sing The Wild Rover.   Lightcliffe Claret

After nineteen games without winning,
Our attendance numbers were thinning,
The remainder were bored,
Because we never scored,
And wanted our manager binning.   Cheshire Exile

There is a small team from Turf Moor,
They love to go forward and score,
But sometimes our defence,
Has us nervous and tense,
But the football is never a bore.   Burnleybeerandchips

Turf Moor is where legends are born,
But the Rovers just look on with scorn,
We’re off to Spurs in the Cup,
Because we’re on the up,
And Rovers look tattered and torn.    Burnleybeerandchips

Those proud players in claret and blue,
Will show the League what we can do,
In defence and attack,
From the front to the back,
And our manager goes, “och ay the noo.”   Jabberwocky

A young female claret called Rhona,
Was known as a bit of a moaner,
Her boyfriend said, “Lass,
You’re a pain in the ass,
It’s Burnley and not Barcelona.”    Nutsinmay

A butcher from Burnley called Lord,
Whose wishes were seldom ignored,
Said, “I want a new stand,
Costing seven hundred grand,”
It was something he couldn’t afford.

So the players were sold in their hordes,
And the huge transfer fees went towards,
The cost of that stand,
But the butcher was panned,
May it please dear God no more Bob Lord.         Cheshireexile

Our lads play in claret and blue,
But Villa and Scunny do too,
This isn’t a jest,
We’re simply the best,
All the world now knows this is true.      Burnleybeerandchips

and the winning entry.............

I spied on my way to The Turf,
A fan of considerable girth,
He ate pies to order,
His dad – a Bob Lorder,
Had reared him on Hollands from birth.  Nutsinmay

Thanks go to Dave for organising this fun competition and providing his excellent book as the prize also all posters for the entries.