SCANDAL

By Admin@Swifthalf
January 1 2005

Football has again hit the headlines for the wrong reasons today. We at Swifthalf are pained to announce the return of Mullets to football fields across the country. It is with deep regret that two of our very own – Richard McKinney and Matty Fryatt – are following this alarming trend.

Darren Wrack has gone close, but his mane is yet to crawl towards his spine thankfully. Not since the late 1980s has such a problem reared its ugly head (head..hair geddit?), when ‘stars’ such as Chris Waddle sported the aforementioned cut.

Swifthalf are to run an anti-mullet campaign across the continent until the problem is dealt with.

"We need to get the message across to everyone in the game that we can stand united against mullets," explained one fan.

"We need to show that mullets in all its manifestations needs to be challenged, that it isn't something football will tolerate."