Elvis Lives in Burslem

Elvis Rules
By Mister Happy
March 17 2005

This coming weekend we travel up to Burslem in search of 3 vital points to ease our relegation fears. Unfortunately i can only see Vale adding to our end of season stress levels.

This weekend we take a short trip up the M6 to visit the home of the oatcake.

Over recent years we have poked fun at, ridiculed and laughed at the plight of our friends from the Potteries, particularly the massive Stoke City.

What fun it was to beat them in the play offs and see such a massive club (the term is used loosely) languishing in the forgotten leagues. Sadly the boot is well and truly on the other foot. Whilst Stoke play with the big boys we look forward to the delights of Burslem and Vale Park.

Port Vale is a peculiar place. There is neither port nor vale anywhere in sight. It is simply an industrial waste land that serves no purpose other than to ensure visitors never revisit.

Make no mistake about it, Burslem and Vale Park is a welcome to the forgotten land.

On your way to Vale Park take a trip around the six towns that make up the city of Stoke-on-Trent. You will teleport through time zones taking you back several centuries.

Given the surroundings it is not difficult to imagine crosses painted onto front doors and locals wandering the streets sporting a jingling bell. Unclean, Bring out your dead! Be sure to have your injections before you travel.

For our younger fans that have never experienced the delights of Vale Park it is quite difficult to come up with some descriptive text to describe the place. The best I can offer is “it’s a half built/derelict (delete as applicable) dump”.

Although it can’t compare with some of the newer stadiums we have visited in recent times Vale Park is strangely, an exciting place to visit. It is hidden away between old houses, commerce and heaven knows what in a similar way to the approach to our old Fellows Park ground via Hillary Street. It is what I would term a “real” football ground.

Believe it or not, many moons ago matches between the Saddlers and Valiants were the highlight of the season for both sets of fans. Much to the annoyance of Vale fans it was always Walsall who were victorious.

Sadly I don’t think this will be the case this coming weekend as I see the Valiants strolling to victory pushing Saddlers into real relegation trouble.

Mister Happy prediction:

Valiants 3 Saddlers 1

For those of you that have travelled to Graceland in search of the King I have news for you. You have wasted both your time and money. You will find that Elvis lives in Burslem!