Newcastle and the battle of the sexes!
By Dave Eadevic
June 19 2014
As the world cup continues and no signings seem close (today anyway) I thought I would take this opportunity to share a few things I have learned in 20 years of marriage, when it concerns football.
- If you’re nearest and dearest, is in front of the TV, waving her hair about and says ‘do you notice anything?’
Do not reply ‘Aye yes, you’re in front of the telly, and the football is on.
- Do not under any circumstances allow your other half to book tickets during the football season.
While not really paying attention once, I agreed to a night out, only to discover later that it was on Champions league final night, making you miss the one and only final, you have ever missed.
- Do not keep excusing yourself every 5 minutes to go and ask the barman the current score (see point 2.)
- In the early days of love, when frankly your willing to agree to anything, do not go to the ballet, it’s boring and they get annoyed when you ask when is half time.
- On holiday do not think they will understand that your taking yourself and son on a 700 mile round trip to see a football game, just because the club was named Newcastle, not the Newcastle you understand just a Newcastle.
- Do not chew the sofa during derby games, this one tends to really annoy.
- Do not again on holidays, spend time going to different peoples matches, if you do (and frankly I do) then don’t get drunk with new friends just met.
This can lead to not only getting lost in France, a hangover and a sulk. But can seriously damage your wealth (Paris is surprisingly expensive).
- There is no point attempting to explain why you got up at 4 in the morning to watch a game, just pretend you couldn’t sleep, if then it is pointed out that the alarm was going off for 15 minutes, plead insanity.
- Do not bar a potential daughter’s boyfriend from the house because he is a Sunderland supporter (well actually do, but make sure the wife hasn’t snuck up behind you mid threat).
10. The last one is a word of advise to women, never say ‘it’s only a game’. It may be a well worn cliché but it’s very true.
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