More Rebranding ahoy!

By Albatross
June 17 2004

Thought that "The Championship", League One and League Two were the limit? Pools Online can exclusively reveal that there's more rebranding being talked about at League HQ. A highly unreliable source reports....

Following the announcement of the rebranding of the Football League to have "The Championship", "League One" and "League Two", Pools Online is able to bring you news of further rebranding that may be carried out. This is from a discussion document leaked by a highly unreliable source, but has implications for fans, managers, players and in fact anyone connected with the game. A new dictionary of the terms can be found below.

New Name                                                 Old Name

Manually Powered Excavation Device      Spade

Grand Final                                        Playoff Final

The Soccer Bowl                                LDV Trophy

Upwards Transformation                      Promotion

Sideways Transformation                     Relegation

Field of Dreams                                  Pitch

Head Coach                                      Manager

Play Boundary                                   Touchline

Hand Restart                                     Throw In

Wide Restart                                     Corner

Score                                              Goal

Deputy Official                                  Referee's Assistant

Championship Pennant                        Division 1 Title

 

As an example of the impact this would make, just look at the following sample Match Report: "Crystal Palace took to the Field of Dreams knowing that they needed at least two scores to progress to the Grand Final and a possible upwards transformation. Their Head Coach had them attacking from the first, and they thought they should have had a Wide Restart, only for the Deputy Official to rule that the ball had crossed the Play Boundary for a Hand Restart." Far-fetched? Maybe, but who would have thought 20 years ago that Pools would be playing in Division 3, that became Division 2 and then League 1?

 

Coming Soon: how to make the game more attractive by renaming teams Rugby League style - Hartlepool Hawks anyone?