When you're smiling... Poolie Kev on Yeovil

Destination Vic
By Poolie Kev
September 6 2005

Not much to be cheerful about on the pitch, but Poolie Kev found some entertainment off it! Hartlepool United fans have always found ways to laugh at adversity - maybe making a virtue out of a necessity in years gone by....

Being an exile, coming up to watch the lads play is really only part of the reason for the journey. Also I’ve found numerous keen travelling partners, who don’t even support the team but are interested in football, who like to come up to the Vic and their reason is, simply, for the crack.

Hartlepool supporters, whether I know them personally or not invariably provide some of the best crack ever heard. Some at the top of their beer fuelled voices during the game, some as a quick fire put down over the pre-match pint, some as a barbed and wickedly observed aside at any given moment.

Picture the scene. It’s me Gilly’s birthday weekend and a fun couple of days are planned. Me Gilly sets off from Cheshire at 8.05am to reach me in Nottinghamshire and then study for the entire journey up to the Pool. She’s got a big task on later in the month and a sailing trip to endure in the meantime, poor scrap. We hit Jacko’s car park at twenty to twelve, no time for a pre-match libation, bad planning I know, but those road works are still littering the A1 and it’s a weird kick-off time anyway. Passing the away queues (respec’ to those Yeovil Town fans who travelled the colossal distance at that unearthly hour) and the ticket office queue, we hit the Town End turnstiles at ten to twelve.

Now me Gilly worked at Manchester City for seven years, she’s not used to turnstiles and concrete, she’s used to carpet and players entrances (apparently that Niall Quinn is such a nice man. she’s had him in her car. Peter Reid as well……) and so she tried to pay cash at the ticket turnstile inevitably getting one of their best jobsworth knock backs. Well I was pouring another £2.50 in to the coffers for an admirable Victoria Parklife and merely said,’that one there for cash pet.’

On emerging from the ticket turnstiles after presenting my season ticket groundside, no Gilly. And after waiting seven minutes and still no Gilly, I assumed she’d gone to the ticket office and got another knock back for not being on the database and was now in Next, spending.

And the crack you ask?? I joined a couple of lads on the Town End and explained that between coming in one side of the turnstiles and emerging from the other I’d lost the missus. ‘Congratulations mate, well done’ came the instant riposte. ‘She must have come in the Tardis turnstile.’ As H’Angus passed two minutes later ‘Is that her??’ ‘I’m going for a fag, I’ll see if she’s queuing at the pie cabin’ ’She might be shopping but you’ve got £16 start on her.’ ‘Scotty, you’re clueless!!’ ‘Is he going off?? Is he injured??’ ‘Sort it out Scotty.’

Now she turned up at half time, having been diverted right round Morrisons to the opposite turnstiles because they had no tickets at the cash entrance. By my reckoning there was about 2500 spare so I can’t say why not. However as you are aware, me Gilly might have turned up. HUFC simply didn’t.

There’s lot said about the wit and fortitude of the Scousers, but my two pennorth says stuff ‘em. The Poolies can laugh in the face of adversity and my estimation is that we’ve got quite a bit of laughing to do. On a brighter note, if you like nostalgia, it was like watching the teams of the eighties and mid nineties. We know we’re better than that and the after game queue for Blackpool tickets shows the Poolies know that.

See you over there and keep laughing, it’s football, no-ones dead!!