Poolie Kev: Bradford (A) - Let's do the Timewarp

Back in time
By Poolie Kev
December 1 2005

Poolie Kev enjoyed his day out in Bradford, even if he did think he'd gone back in time at one point. Fortunately he remembered it was City and not Park Avenue that Hartlepool United were playing...

And so to Bradford to attempt to halt a worrying trend after a pair of back to back defeats, and even the most optimistic of Poolies, of which I would count myself one, would have to admit this was quite an ask.

Having been on the works Christmas bash in Barnsley the night before it was a shaken AND stirred Pooliekev who left his hotel at 11am for the short trip up the Yorkshire motorways to Ripper city.

A strange phenomenon. Being right in the heart of the Muslim community, there is a dearth of pubs in the vicinity of Valley Parade. There is however one, the imaginatively named Bradford Arms and it was here that the Poolies met and chewed the pre-match fat. Now the Bradford Arms is a strange place. Almost like stepping back into the fifties, the décor ranges from the garish yellow wallpaper to the pink emulsion over the cornices. As I walked in the stereo was belting out ‘The Fields Of Athenry’ which was closely followed by Joseph Locke doing ‘Be My Love.’ The barman was reminiscent of Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel and the landlady was a ninety year old brown cardigan clad harridan who apparently has before evicted the Bradford Burberry Brigade single handed with a single bellow. The beer, which was most acceptable, even after the previous nights excesses, was served in squashy plastic glasses unless you were a local (and what a strange bunch they were), which said harridan duly collected for re-use. Well at 0.3p a pop you can’t be throwing it away, now can you.

Into the freezing day we emerged, optimism fuelled by alcohol, and made our way down the almost vertical streets to the away end, pausing only to admire the ‘Shoplifters Will Be Prosecuted’ sign in the furniture shop window. If I ever see anybody, anywhere, ever wearing a jumper big enough to conceal a settee or a wardrobe, I’m giving Norris MacWhirter a ring but they evidently felt the need to state their case.

The cross –stand Pennine breeze instantly chilled us to the bone as we took our seats in the upper tier of the away end stand, which, and please don’t think after the Chesterfield page that I have any fixation about toilets, is serviced by one small narrow lavvy. What did they do when Manchester United graced this parish??

The 425 Poolies were again rather muted, or frozen to their seats, it could have been either, but a cracking display of self-assured, skilful passing football from the lads warmed the cockles by the end and I reckon if we were still playing now Bradford would be struggling to score such was the commanding display by Nelse and Neil Collins. How I hope we can hold onto Neil for the rest of the season. Ritchie played his game of the season on the left and Chris Llewellyn (just showing off the old spelling ability there, and no he’s not on spell-check, that gives you Levelling!!) revelled in his rightful position up front alongside on-loan Dean MacDonald about whom I’ve bored everybody rigid this week, an immense debut by the youngster.

Corner turned?? Well it would be nice to think so and in my above stated optimism I’ll always think so. Three homes on the trot now and if we can reproduce this display we should get a third round tie and six more points leading us nicely into Christmas’s four in fourteen days.

Or am I running before I can walk?? Only time will tell.