Poolie Kev meets Motty at Pools v Swindon!

Vic Park
By Poolie Kev
January 4 2006

Even the normally positive Poolie Kev is having trouble finding plus points at the moment; still he did find some entertainment at the Vic on Monday, thanks to the antics of a wannabee commentator. It sounds like Pools World - let alone Match of the Day - needn't get too worried though!

There is a strange breed of football fan, adjacent to whom I sometimes find myself at Pools games. These are the blokes who run their own commentary with a mate in the same terminology, as might a newspaper journalist or Barry Davies. Even in these difficult times, clocking one of these adds to the entertainment and this did indeed happen on Monday at the Swindon home game.

As the Swindon midfield bashed a reasonably good ball out wide for the winger to run onto, matey says ‘ Found good space out on the right there.’ And as the cross came in and tantalisingly ran right across the six, chummy opines ‘Had the goalkeeper rooted to the spot on that occasion.’

Now tears are already streaming down my trouser leg at this stage, so when the ball came back infield and their shot sailed over the bar and mini-Motty said, ‘Skimmed the bar there with a rising right foot shot,’ it was all I could do to stop myself spitting semi masticated chips all over the back of the bloke in front of me. This continued for the entire first half and when I risked a sneaky peek, there wasn’t a trace of irony in the blokes face. Unfortunately I lost him at half time but if you’re reading this, thanks for the entertainment!!

Anyway, I leave the country for three games and what happens?? One point out of nine although apparently we deserved better, particularly against Southend, so I’m told but pretty losses don’t match ugly wins. Clearly, and as Albatross has already said, we’re deeper in the soft and smelly and there doesn’t seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. The platitudes that come out of the club after yet another poor result appear to ignore the worsening situation and it must be as obvious to those inside as it is to we outsiders that we are declining at an alarming rate. I really don’t think that there’s an easy answer but we seem to be frightened of our own shadows at home and desperately unlucky away.

Looking for the plusses are I always am, we aren’t getting battered off anyone. Out of 11 defeats so far only 3 haven’t been by the odd goal. We aren’t that far off but we seem to be suckers for getting hit on the break. This is obviously symptomatic of the way the division is going this season and of all the four divisions, if you can call the one horse lottery that is the premiership a division, ours is the most competitive. However with the points opportunity spurned (I’m starting to sound like that bloke in the Town End aren’t I??) over the holidays and a disastrous December behind us the next opportunity for a surge is Easter with homes against Brizzle and Forest and an away at, the hopefully then relegated, MK Dons.

Let’s hope we’re playing for nine points to seal a play off and not scraping for survival. We need action of any sort now if we’re to learn from Nero’s experience.