Schumacher Is A Nobody Says Montoya


By Dale Calkins
January 18 2007

Formula 1 reject Juan Pablo Montoya has slammed Michael Schumacher, for the 7-Time World Champion's comments about NASCAR. Schumacher observed that Montoya's new racing series is ridiculously boring and requires very little skill, which Juan Pablo did not appreciate.

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Schumacher Is
A Nobody
Says Montoya
Formula 1 reject Juan Pablo Montoya has slammed Michael Schumacher, for the 7-Time World Champion's comments about NASCAR. Schumacher observed that Montoya's new racing series is ridiculously boring and requires very little skill, which Juan Pablo did not appreciate. This is what Schumacher had to say about Montoya's move to NASCAR and stock car racing in the United States of America in general:

"Personally I wouldn't do it. What do you do in NASCAR? What is exciting there? I can not see that, they are running around on ovals."

No of course Michael is correct, as is anybody who observes that NASCAR is ludicrously boring and requires little skill to be successful in (at least in relation to Formula 1) and even less to compete in at any level. NASCAR is as Michael states tin pieces of 1960's technology in shiny colors (to appeal to simple minded redneck Americans) running around in circles never changing gears or turning right. Now of course this appeals to the afore mentioned simple minded redneck Americans and Juan Pablo Montoya (apparently Jacques Villeneuve as well, though we shall not get into that right now) which of course lead to Montoya's decision to race in NASCAR. Or rather his forced removal from Formula 1 when it was discovered that he was simply a terrible racer. Defending his decision to race in an irrelevant form of motorsports, Montoya shot back at Schumacher's comments with this:

"Schumacher in America is nobody. People don't understand what a big challenge this style of racing is. Michael Schumacher, just take him to Homestead and tell him to stay half a second off the pace. He would have a heart attack.

It would be a hard transition (for Schumacher) for sure. It's not an easy transition. I had the advantage that I raced two years of ovals and did a little bit of stock cars with little ones when I started my career. All that really helps."

Now, there is a reason that people do not understand how big of a challenge NASCAR is, largely because people who do not watch stock car racing are far too intelligent to comprehend the ridiculously mundane sport of redneck demolition derby racing. As for Schumacher not being popular in the United States of America, that is quite true, though this is not a negative reflection on Michael himself, rather (again) on the redneck Americans unaware of the pinnacle of motorsports which is Formula 1. Would it be a difficult transition for Schumacher, of course it would be, it would be tremendously difficult for Michael to drive with no skill, so preposterously slow and then to crash into anything that moves.

Now I know I have been rather harsh on NASCAR, though ever bit of what I have said is true (in the context of factual information) it is also true that anyone who believes that NASCAR is a serious form of motorsports based on Montoya's statements is an ignoramus (not that anyone who believes that would know what that word means) of the highest order.

So what have we learned today? NASCAR is a boring and unskilled sport, Juan Pablo Montoya is a boring and unskilled driver for racing in NASCAR, Formula 1 is neither of those things, Michael Schumacher is smarter than Juan Pablo Montoya (in arguments and in career decisions) and that NASCAR and Juan Pablo Montoya are really, really easy to insult.

January 18, 2007