Irish break through the foul and ugly mist
By Mad Monk
January 19 2011
On Sunday London Irish carded their first win in any competition since October 2010.
Too long doth thou permit the base contagious clouds to smother up thy beauty from the world,
That when thou please again to be thyself, being wanted, thou may be more wonder’d at,
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists of vapours that did seem to strangle thee.
If all the year ye played like today, to win would be as tedious as to lose;
But when they seldom come, the win when wish'd for come, and nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when thy loose behaviour ye throw off and pay the debt ye never promised,
By how much better than thy word thou seem, by so much have ye falsified Welsh hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground, thy reformation, glittering o'er thy fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes than that which hath no foil to set it off.
Ye've so offended, to make offence a skill; redeeming now when men think least ye will.
Of course I knew last week that we would win. Signs and portents.
How so? Wast front of heaven full of fiery shapes, Of burning cressets at thy birth
The frame and huge foundation of the earth shaked like a coward?
Not so brave Hotspur for I am no Glendower, yet say I this.
Upon that palindromic date not sennight past, All pale and fresh sprung against the window light
There rose to my disbelieving sight dew spattered fresh new opened to the day
The common shamrock growing there to lift all Irish hearts
Why, so it would have done at the same season, if your mother's cat had but kittened, though yourself had never woke.
Yet say I this, no common leaf upon that herbage grew, no trifolium repens but a sign
The stem did bear four leaves as clear as stand you here, an omen of good fortune to all Irish men
Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye
And sandy-bottom'd Severn has he sent me bootless home and weather-beaten back. No more!
Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat. What news upon the field this day?
Well, Mrs Monk took Minimonk straight to the stadium whilst I went to the Three Guineas to meet Sonof and Oddsocks. The train was late so by the time we made it to the ground the others were already inside and had bagged some drums. I check the team sheet.
Delon returns as full back after his EPS enforced break. Elvis and Topsy are running the wings with Maps and Losi inside them. Dan Bowden increases his grip on the 10 shirt with Ryan backing him up from the bench. Dodge is crook so Allinson replaces him and brings a Welsh insight to the scrum half position. For the forwards we have the usual suspects, except Bob is still not given a starting slot and Garvey is packing down beside Kendo. They are flanked by Steff and George with Huff at no 8. Propping Buckland at hooker are Faan and Alex. Maps has taken the captain's arm band from Dodge so we are ready for off. Almost. Clancy has spotted that the teams have run out into the wrong halves. After a quick change round the visitors are facing the South goal posts and kick off.
Irish fail to claim the kick off. It bounces cruelly away from them into the welcoming arms of Mike Phillips. Hook takes it on. Hooker Hibbard takes it through the red zone and there is immediate danger for the home side. Their flanker takes it right to the line. He is turned but gets the ball away. Jonathan Thomas has a go. The ball is recycled to the backs. The pass goes straight between the legs of the intended recipient. When it is collected the ball carrier has also collected two defenders. The recycle again and spread it wide. Coming back inside when the ball carrier goes to ground Buckland is straight through (legally) clearing out the attackers allowing Huff to get his hands on the ball. Allinson clears to beyond half way. First assault by the Welsh is repelled. They run it back at Irish over the half way line. The ball is buried creating the first scrum. Alex is hurt but packs down. He goes straight down giving a free kick to Ospreys. Dan Bigger comes in on the angle. He is through the gap but without the ball. Irish kick through again. The Welsh come back only to be dumped by Maps. Chip through is fumbled in the re-gather, scrum to Irish.
Free kick to Irish, ball gets out to Topsy and the first attacking move by Irish. Allinson feeds Bowden who just manages to put the ball out on the full. Ospreys are attacking again. The grubber through into the Irish 22 is cleared to touch. Clean lineout ball from Ospreys and they rebuild. When the ball squirts out the side, Alex scoops it up and it is the Irish's turn to attack. They keep the ball alive, making it as far as the Ospreys 22. Losi makes a half break. Irish are looking dangerous. Time for Clancy to snuff out the attack claiming Irish were off their feet. The penalty however does not find touch and Topsy counters. Irish get all the way back to the Ospreys 22 before Maps spills in the tackle. The Welsh kick down the tram line behind everyone forcing Losi to track back all the way to his own 22. The Welsh follow up is good leaving the winger little option but to pop it into touch. It is taken quickly, knocked on, and a penalty conceded at the scrum. The initiative is handed back to London Irish. Bowden pushes Irish back into the Welsh half. Stowers chips ahead, Walker scuttles back to touch down, only just beating Bowden on the follow up.
Drop out collected by Garvey. Ball out along the line, Delon is through the gap, recycled ball back towards my vantage point under the drummers. Moment of confusion as nobody knows where the scrum half is, back to Bowden who has a go. Ospreys turn over ball in the own 22. Maps is up so quickly the clearance is hurried and does not go far. Lineout is safely gathered by Kendo, Maps hits the gain line. The Welsh are all over the wrong side of the ball. The little up and under has too much on it so when it falls into Welsh arms Clancy goes back for the penalty. Bowden makes no mistake. 15 min in and we are on the scoreboard.
Danger at the restart as Alan Wynn-Jones takes the ball into the red zone. still no way through for the visitors. Clancy penlises us for not rolling away. Ospreys even the score. Restart is kicked back at Delon who scythes through several defenders before offloading to Bowden to Garvey back to Losi who is in at the corner, matching the one he made in the away leg. Welcome back to the old London Irish. After the restart the ball is kicked back to Ospreys who put the ball into touch. Stowers claims the ball but is pulled down, penalty to Irish. Bowden kicks for the corner. The long throw misses its mark. Stowers does well to run round and clean up but knocks on gathering the ball. At the second attempt at the scrum Clancy gives the penalty to the visitors. Whether the injury to the Osprey tight head Alan Jones was a price worth paying is highly debatable. Welsh kick finds Delon who offloads to little bro. This time the penalty at the scrum goes the way of the home side. Bowden punishes the error with the boot taking the score up to 11-3.
Ospreys attack from the restart is well taken in the air but the runners can find no way through with ball in hand and are ushered into touch. Clearance kick is well weighted as Ryan Jones is splattered by Maps as soon as he hits the ground. Not only does he survive but he gets the offload away. The Irish defence is secure but not to the liking of Mr Clancy who penalises them for handling off their feet at the breakdown. Ospreys narrow the gap to 11-6.
Buckland throws in and set up an attack but Ospreys turn over on the counter ruck only to knock on moments later. Huff picks up the ball from the back of the scrum. The forwards are Edging forwards. Good build up until Darren mis-judges his cross kick which goes straight into touch. Ospreys throw short. The hooker is clearly in the field of play as he throws but it goes un punished. The ball also goes out so another throw, this time to Irish. Ospreys are penalised at the next breakdown and Bowden adds three more points to the scoreboard. Irish go into the break 14-6 up.
I am unused to queuing for refreshments with a feeling of quiet optimism but I could get used to it. It is not the score, there are plenty of times we have thrown away an 8 point lead. It is the way we survived the onslaught in the opening minute. I couldn’t see who turned the welsh player on their back denying them the early try but to send the visitor back from the whitewash with nothing to show for it imbued the team with a confidence that I’ve not seen since we thrashed Newcastle at the beginning of the season.
Second half Irish restart Hook clears to touch. Kendo takes Allinson feeds to Bowden who finds a gap Elvis is waiting for the offload passes to Topsy who is in under the posts less than sixty seconds after the restart. With the extras Irish are 21-6 The Irish return from the restart is caught by a Welshman with one foot in touch gifting territory to the visitors. Messy ball from the lineout but the visitors keep possession. Irish is putting in big hits but give away the penalty. Ospreys are trying to kick their way back into the game from inside their own half. 21-9
Restart kicked back at Delon who has another run. Ospreys pour through on the counter ruck, legally says Clancy. When the boot is on the other foot and Irish are defending the same ref decides it is illegal, much to the disgust of the partisan home crowd. There is however poetic justice when the penalty goes wide. Ospreys have a period of possession from the restart which ends in a forward pass. Clancy just cannot ref the scrum. I cannot remember a set scrum being completed, the free kick or penalty simply being given to the attacking side. This time it is London Irish. The attack ends with Delon taking it into his head to try his hand at a drop goal. Not even close.
Drop out kicked to touch. Ion comes on for Faan. There is a real resolve from the home side harassing at the line, preventing clean ball, pouring through and getting the turnover. We are nice and dry up in the stand but the ball must be very slippery as Losi knocks on. Again a scrum; again penalty to the attacking side. Watching the replay the visitors clearly go down under pressure, Clancy does not even look to see who brought it down. They kick for territory, spread the ball wide and knock on. Now you think that would mean scrum Irish ball, Irish penalty when the scrum collapses, but no, penalty to Ospreys for Irish offside. Oh dear after the match I promised one of my readers I would not have a go at the ref this week. I shall do a penance later. If I say I watched the replay and Clancy was right, Steff was offside am I forgiven?
It doesn't matter, the kick misses and Irish are back on the attack. Again Allinson's kick goes out on the full. Maybe it is the adrenaline of the occasion, finally getting a chance to step into Dodge's boots. It doesn't matter, the Ospreys throw misses its target and is knocked on at the back of the line. Scrum Irish, scrum collapse, penalty Irish, boot to corner. Something has to be done about scrummaging in the modern game or the chattering classes of the sports pages will build up a head of steam, the supporters who have never in the name of sport pushed their heads between another man's thighs will die of boredom whilst retired geriatric tight fives will continue to complain about the referee. Rant over. Good kick to touch Good take by Garvey. The Irish forwards inch through the Ospreys 22. Ball is ripped, goes forward scrum Ospreys. The entire Ospreys front row are replaced. First completed scrum an hour into the game Ospreys are off, Irish pinged for in at the side, taken quickly. I don't mind that we knocked on, lost the scrum and got pinged. At least a game of rugby has broken out. Ospreys kick the ball away Losi collects, Bowden returns with interest. Ospreys knock on Irish collect and Matt Garvey plays advantage which is lost when Huff knocks on himself a couple of phases later. Scrum is completed and Ospreys have possesion. They knock on as they try to edge out of their own half.
Irish mess up the scrum and Ospreys come away with turnover ball. The kick behind our defence, Losi goes back. He is caught and Tommy Bowe picks up for the visitors who are within five metres of our line as they were an hour ago. Sound defence repels wave after wave. Ospreys knock on Topsy collects and thumps the ball up into the empty Osprey's half. Luckily for the visitor the ball bounces kindly for them and the breakaway is foiled. So too is the imminent threat to Irish. The big prop Jones finds a hole and is back up to our 22. Clancy penalises Irish for being in from the side. Hook takes over the kicking and narrows the gap to 21-12.
Straight after the restart Ospreys are penalised for the same offence. Bowden however is off target. Lamb is on the bench. Will he get 10 min at the end? While the question floats in the air Irish give away another penalty for offside. There is a Welsh mountain to climb but there is not enough time left to do it with the boot. 5m lineout to visitors beneath me as we try to drown the call with our drums. Funny how we moan at the French for not respecting the kicker, yet offer no such politeness to the opponents hooker at the throw in. Murphy and Gibson are on relieving George and Alex to refresh our tight five for the remaining ten minutes. Ospreys take the ball and set up the drive. Mike Phillips breaks away and is stopped by Kendo. Buckland tries to hack the ball through the ruck giving away a penalty. Ospreys still have possession so play advantage. When Clancy decides not enough has accrued he sends Buckland off forcing Irish to defend their lead with 14 men for the final nine minutes.
Decision time for Ospreys. Take the three on offer and get the losing bonus or go for broke? They choose the latter. Blaney comes on for Steff so we have a hooker. Quick ball for Ospreys. Clancy obstructs Mapasua preventing him from tackling the ball carrier. Fortunately Gibson is on hand to make the tackle on Thomas but it makes you wonder what Clancy would have done if the Welshman had found the whitewash. In any event Maps feels justified in entering the fray from the side and a dazed Clancy is in no state to argue. More waves breaking on an impenetrable Irish sea wall. They spread it wide to let the backs have a go. When Cap'n Mapasua comes in with a crunching tackle Ospreys are penalised for holding on and the storm has been weathered. Bowden is off for Lamb Irish are still a man down but have a lineout near half way. Nick collects and Irish minus Steff who was sacrificed so the carded hooker could be replaced set up the rolling maul. Ospreys almost get an intercept that would have put Hook in under the posts but it was knocked on, scrum in the middle of the park.
Good scrum from Irish. Lamb in his first contribution to the match puts a perfectly weighted kick into touch behind the defence. Ospreys have to run from deep now. The pass is poor and Delon is a whisker away from kicking through. On the advice of the assistant referee Ospreys are penalised for tackling a player without the ball. Lamb takes his time and drives the final nail in the Welsh coffin. The restart is quickly taken. Ospreys are clear through the centre, but only because they passed the ball forward. Thompstone comes on in the final minute releasing Losi. Irish just about secure their scrum. They pick and go until the clock turns red whereupon Lamb boots the ball off the field. The replaced players invade the pitch to celebrate with their brothers in arms. You would think they had just won silverware. They have instead achieved something almost as valuable. As Toby said later, they have got the monkey off their back.
Time I think to return to the Bard for inspiration “Enough forsooth I cry thee nay! Rather would I suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”
And, in this resolution, I defy thee; not willing any longer conference,
Since thou deniest the gentle monk to speak, sound trumpets!
let our bloody colours wave! And come to victory, risen from the grave.
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Clare on behalf of PV
Quote:JamesC
Excellent stuff - don't know you do it but drink may be involved I fear
The trick is being sober for the main part in the middle which is supposed to be an accurate record of what happened on the pitch. (Sky does help
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