Sermon on the M4 - Father Ted Speaks

Preaching? To us?
By BrianC
March 26 2004

The last sermon Father Ted gave us was almost two years ago, just before the cup final. It was called 'Sermon on the A316'. It must have served the stipend well as it has been a long time since he's been back here looking for beer money. Now his latest begging letter.

Today’s Sermon is a warning. It is a tale of what may happen if you fall for the charms of a good looking blonde, who has a particularly large husband. You have now been warned. It is a shame that Father Ted wasn’t!

AND LO!  A fair maiden appeared called Ga-by, from the land of Yo-rath. And when asked what she had to do in these lands she pronounced “I have come in pursuit of one of your egg chasing men who is from the seed of the Lo-g-an””

And the people of Sudbury were suspicious. For she was of round ball persuasion and was begat after a particularly good FA Cup win. Further, she had appeared to them as a vision in their homes. “How can we trust you” they asked “for you have usurped the God Lynam and we wailed at the loss of our MOTD with that catchy music and…..(Get on with the sermon – Ed.)  

“We only have one man here who fits your description but he is a brute from the land of Cal-e-don-ia – surely you do not want the hand of such a lo-ser” But Ga-by was persistent and did catch her man (as had all other wingers in the Premiership). 

And they were betrothed on the next feast day and there was great rejoicing for Ke-n-ny’s fitness did improve. Wasps did start to win. And Ga-by interviewed Cam-p-ese at the RWC – for she is a girl that likes to go down under – but he was a Da-vid rather than a  Go-l-iath.

But all did not last, for Ke-n-ny was dropped from the team. And this made Ga-by upset and she did confide in a priest…our very own Father Ted.  And Fr Ted did help her through these hard times. And he did become close to the fair maiden Ga-by, in fact very close and was so besotted by her that did declare he would renounce his vows.

And when he thought they were alone one evening the maiden Ga-by asked of the good Father “Would you do anything for me Father?” And he answered yes. “Absolutely anything, Father?” And the reply came again as yes. “Would you run 26.2 miles for my charity, Father, and be my fundraising Silver Fox?” At which point the good priest did hesitate and looked bewildered.

And as he looked into the face of Ga-by a deep Scottish voice from behind him did utter “If the lady says you’re running 26.2 miles for her charity, you are going to run 26.2 miles for her charity” for it was Ke-n-ny and he was mighty muscular and towering over the priest as he glowered and said….

“You’re the third one this month we’ve bagged. Call yourself a Silver Fox, you’re more like a Daft Badger….now get running”

If you want to read more about the daft badger’s marathon run or wish to sponsor him go to www.justgiving.com/thesilverfox . Alternatively, put your pledge on the messageboard.