News: Saints reveal new prop
By COYSDC
April 23 2013
Saints Reveal New Prop
Dateline 23 April 2013, Northampton
By: The Man Who Knows More Stuff than the Stuff that Other People Know.
In an exclusive interview with ComeonyouSaints.com, Northampton Saints today revealed the identity of their new tight head prop to replace the departing Brian “The Mooj” Mujati and Paul Doran Jones.
Jim Mallinder said, “We are all really excited about this news. Nobby has been beside himself with the plan that has come together and even kissed Nick Johnson when I told him what we’d done. Admittedly, Nick and the conditioning boys are going to have their work cut out, as the new arrival will need to bulk out in order to be ready for front row duty in the 2013/14 season.”
In a press conference later today in the Rodber Suite, Saints will reveal that Paul Diggin has signed a new 4 year contract and will move from the wing to retrain as tight head prop. Small in stature but powerfully built, he is already being “re-conditioned” by Nick Johnson. The Hood said, “ I’m feeding him 4 kilograms of raw steak 3 times a day, all washed down with what is left of The Mooj’s beer.”
Paul, or Digger as he is affectionately known by the Great Unwashed at The Gardens, told COYSDC earlier, “I’ve already put on 3 stone and have had to buy special trousers just to accommodate my thighs! I’m still quite nippy round the paddock though and having a prop that can kick for goal will be a novelty! I hope to be able to learn from The Nobster all about the dark arts of the front row, which I never ever really understood until now but at least it’ll stop Dylan winding me up about how important the scrum is!”
Allan Robson, chief executive of Saints said, “Getting Paul to sign a new contract as a tight head has been a major coup for the club and has only been made possible by buying in cover on the wing from Wales in the form of “Saint George” North. We are grateful to the Scarlets for helping us with our plan to get the best out of Paul Diggin and we are confident that he’ll become the next “Duckling” (Ed – do you mean Chicken Allan?)
Season Ticket holders will be able to have their photographs taken with Paul proudly wearing the fabled “3” shirt at the Club’s forthcoming open day.
Press Release Ends
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“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”
Benjamin Franklin
Tetleys Block F E143
There are World Class props available out there. I can only assume that we have hamstrung ourselves by looting the valley's of George North.
Not only will I not be renewing my season ticket, I have torn up this years, and all previous years that I had kept for posterity, and sent it back with a pithy note.
And to think, the club couldn't even be bothered to find a photo of this new prop-on-the-block. Pathetic.
You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometimes well you might find, You get what you need.
Richards/Jagger
We are much better as a club than anyone ever gives us credit for and I would gladly give up my car, my house and everything that I own just to buy a season ticket.
This type of innovative and clear sighted signing is exactly what we need to win everything in sight next season
stop moaning
Saint 'til the pub closes
HappyClappy
Reminds me of the old Panorama programme which highlighted the spaghetti trees were running out!
close observation of Digger over the last few months would have told us that some thing was up and he had obviously been in training for the role too.
Whenever he appeared in public recently he could be seen -
" looking puzzled and shaking his head " -
a skill that we all know is essential for a tight head when reacting to bizzare refereeing decisions at scrum time.
.Priceless!Bridesmaids no more.
*I could agree with you - but then we'd both be wrong...*