A Seasonal tale with a lesson for us all

For the truly egalitarian connoisseur of the game Old Pete's best wishes for a successful New Year must surely be extended to the competition's fans and even to their accompanying 'vainglorious speculators', if such they be. 

(From the Independent)

Premiership clubs' owners 

Bath: Pharmaceutical tycoon Bruce Craig bought the club in 2010. 

Exeter Chiefs: Exeter Rugby Group Ltd, a 750-strong members' club. Communications businessman Tony Rowe is chairman and chief executive. 

Gloucester: Ryan Walkinshaw, who inherited the majority shareholding from his late father Tom in 2010. 

Harlequins: Charles Jillings and publicity-shy City investor Duncan Saville. 

Leicester Tigers: Thousands of minority shareholders, including chairman Peter Tom, through Leicester Football Club Plc. 

London Irish: Majority shareholders are Mick Crossan and Phil Cusack after recent takeover. 

London Wasps: Monaco-based Irish insurance businessman Derek Richardson and unnamed associates. 

Newcastle Falcons: Local businessman Semore Kurdi, who increased shareholding to majority 80 per cent in 2011. 

Northampton Saints: The family of regional-newspaper tycoon Keith Barwell have a majority shareholding alongside more than 2,000 individual shareholders. 

Sale Sharks: Jointly owned by Brian Kennedy and Ian Blackhurst, who made their riches variously in kitchens, double glazing and mobile phone services. 

Saracens: Entrepreneur Nigel Wray and investors from UK and South Africa including Johann Rupert. 

Worcester Warriors: WRFC Trading Ltd, majority owned by Hockley Investments on behalf of DHL founder David Allen. 

Act1 Scene1



Del Boy: "This time next year we'll be millionaires Rodney!" 

Rodney : "That still won't be enough to buy the Premiership title though, will it Del?" 

Del Boy : "Rodney, you plonker! There's gotta be a way! He who dares wins! There's a million quids worth of gold out there - our gold. We can't just say 'bonjour' to it." 

Rodney :" Our marquee player wants a rise." 

Del: "We're just gonna have to let him go then." 

Rodney: " We can't just let him go! A stranger on this estate? Imagine what the gangs will do to him?" 

Denzil: "Yeah. For all we know, he could be part of Al-Qaeda!" 
Rodney: " Don't be stupid, Denzil." 

Del: " Yeah. I mean, does he look like he works in a furniture store? " 

Rodney: " He did when he bumped off Eastmond" 

Del Boy : " Talking of bumped off, where did they get that replacement ref from last Saturday?" 

Rodney: " Leicester I think Del" 

Del:" It's a right blinding Christmas this has turned out to be init. I mean some people get wise men bearing gifts, we get a wolly with a disease." 

Trigger:" What d'you think's wrong with him?" 

Mike:" What do I think? Well, snow-blindness would be my bet, Trig." 

Trigger "Yeah? I thought he was p#ssed."  

Del: " It's not like the time he did a Doctor Foster on us Rodney, six tries down the old garden path, lovely jubbly"               

Rodney:"I'm still a bit depressed over that push over try though Del" 

Del:" Never give up on people, Rodney. I know that most of the time they don't seem to understand. But when you're in trouble and you cry out for help, some will always be there. Trigger's cousin Cyril's a perfect example. He owed 500 quid on his mortgage." 

Trigger :"They were gonna be thrown out on the street the following day. he was very worried about it." 

Mike :"what happened Trig?

Trigger:" He drove out to Beachy Head. Parked about five foot from the edge of the cliff." 

Albert:" What, he was gonna drive off it?" 

Trigger :"Yeah! He just sat there for a couple of hours, his head resting on the steering wheel. People tried to talk to him out of it but he was too depressed to listen. 

Del:" But then, and this is the what I mean about people, Rodney, they had a whip-round and got him his 500 quid." 

Rodney :"No! Who held the whip-round?" 

Del:" All the passengers on the bus." 

With acknowledgement appreciation and apologies to John Sullivan. 

Happy New Year fellow travellers!